Remember when I was taken over by dark and alien forces and I cleaned all day long without even realizing it? Well, it’s happened again. As we all know, I’ve been a little chemically unstable lately, so the house is what might be politely called “a fucking disaster area.” But now the meds are kicking in and I’m able to get up off the couch (don’t worry, the dent hasn’t filled in yet), so I thought I should start living like people again. Before Neicy Nash comes to my house and freaks me out with that hair (BTW, does anyone know if she’s the same girl that plays the cop on “Reno 911”? — if she’s not, them bitches are clones or something!).
Anyhoo, I decided to start in the bathroom (at the very back of the apartment) and work my way forward. So I put “Game of Thrones” on the bedroom TV OnDemand and set to it.
5 episodes, y’all. I scrubbed that damn bathroom ON MY HANDS AND KNEES for FIVE HOURS. I just went all OCD up in there. I took all the cabinets and furniture type shit out and wiped them down, then scrubbed the floor WITH A SPONGE before I put it all back. The cats think I have lost my goddamn mind (except for Callie Jean, who doesn’t care as long as “Game of Thrones” is on).
And now I kinda want to keep the door closed forever and use the toilet at the gas station to avoid besmirching my ultra-pristine bathroom. It can be for display purposes only, right?