S is for…. SSSST!
The bathroom at work has one of those air freshener things that releases a burst of scent every so often. This was unbeknownst to me until I heard this terrible “SSST!” noise and I thought I was either being attacked by a snake or had displeased Cesar Milan. It’s a good damn thing I was already sitting on the pot, if you get my drift!
S is for “Sugar Babies”
No, not the disgusting candy that rips your fillings out, I mean the actual thing — women (and one skeevy-looking guy) who date older people to get them to buy them stuff and pay their bills. WHY WAS I NOT TOLD THIS WAS A CAREER OPTION??? One of the girls doesn’t even put out! Stupid high school guidance counselor…
S is for “Spools”
Now, this may be a strictly redneck thing, but back in the day, everyone knew at least one person who had a table made out of one of those huge wooden spools like electrical cable comes on (the classier of us used them as LAWN furniture…). Anyhoo, we now have one sitting out behind the office for some reason… AND THE MIDDLE IS NOW MADE OF CARDBOARD! That’s not gonna make any kind of furniture, dammit, that’s just shoddy! Can’t have nice things.