As promised, here is Part 2 of the latest issue of the Oriental Trading Company catalog (heathen version). For Part One, click here.
Please, oh please, Oriental Trading Company, tell me: In what ways will we be celebrating the rape and massacre of (some of) my ancestors by (the rest of) my ancestors THIS year?
Okay, Thanksgiving-themed rubber ducks… not TOO bad, but fuck you for making the “Indian Chief” duck look just like the turkey ducks!
Design your own Thanksgiving Sticker set… “Mama, mine’s broken. They left out the guns and the smallpox.” “It’s okay, Petey, we’ll draw them in with Sharpie.”
Indian corn pin kit — YOUR people can call it maize if you want… MY people call it crap.
Oh, only 2 pages and now we’re onto generic quote-unquote “prizes.” Thanks for the discreet nod, you genocidal fuckers (and I’m not being racist, they’re based in NEBRASKA, FFS!).
“Break Your Own Geode!” Hooligans, if I ever have a child and I give it a HAMMER… call the authorities.
Awww… little plastic coins that say “I was caught being good!” The reverse side had better say “And now I’ve got this wicked wedgie!”
A globe full of tiny “around the world” people from different cultures. I actually HAVE this — the goddamn ARMY gave these to all us “wives” and kids when my ex was in the Reserves… “Is THIS the bad man who killed Daddy? No? How about THIS one?”
There is, however, one thing we should get: The “Dino-Mite!” 96 piece plastic dinosaur assortment that just MIGHT make Laura’s battles between her dinosaurs and her army men a leeetle more fair…
Tomorrow… the Christian Right’s take on the most Paganest of holidays!
PS — Big news, bitches! Chuckweasel’s been BLOGGING! Check him out!