It’s not my fault, but I must admit: I lied to the entire state of New Jersey.
Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.
You see, I went to work yesterday, under orders from The Bosses to lead with weather – even though, as they admitted themselves, it “wasn’t going to be a big deal.” The National Weather Service was advising “little precipitation, snow changing to rain by afternoon.”
Then this happened.
So basically, I told an ENTIRE STATE full of easily-terrified senior citizens that there was nothing to fear… when I should have been issuing a bread-and-milk alert. Credibility. I hazn’t got it.
Allow me to once again reiterate for those of you who have not been following along in class: I AM NOT A METEOROLOGIST. I was once a “weather girl” very briefly, but that was basically tits-and-ass with a blue screen. I HAVE NO DOCUMENTED SCIENTIFIC KNOWLEDGE OF THIS SUBJECT.
This is why, when I worked at the TV station, I used to rail and fight so hard AGAINST leading with weather (ask Gilbert, he was present for many of the Attempted Firings of Hoody that resulted from my stand on the subject). Weather is NOT my business, and I prefer to leave the lying to the professionals.
Thanks for listening to my rant. I love you fuckers.
P.S. And don’t worry about me during this unexpected Snowpocalypse. I have my trusty survival tool:
As we all know, television viewership takes up a significant portion of my day (largely because I’m holed up in my room hiding from the increasingly-evil Concubine). So let’s all pick up our clickers and see what’s entertaining us now, shall we?
- The Walking Dead (AMC): Duh! Dear Sweet Mama and mine’s Sunday ritual – I have no idea how we’re going to survive the midseason break! We’ve already decided if we ever win the lottery, we’re buying up all their ad time so they can go commercial-free.
- Witches of East End (Lifetime): I know, LIFETIME? Which is why I initially did not hold out much hope for this one, but it turns out it’s great! For those of you who also watch, I’m officially Team Killian – Dash is a douche.
- American Horror Story: Coven (FX): the first of the AHS series I’ve watched, kinda makes me want to catch up on the others! Of course, that fine-ass Angela Bassett doesn’t hurt – like my Dear Sweet Grandmama always used to say, good black don’t crack!
- Almost Human (FOX): LOVE THIS! Which means it’s guaranteed to get cancelled. So eat up the Kennex and Dorian eye candy while you still can!
- Atlantis (BBC America): Just discovered this on the OnDemand. So far, I’m very much liking it and considering throwing a little at Jason, Pythagoras and (as always) Hercules (what is it about Mark Addy?)
- Breaking the Faith (TLC): FLDS girls running away from the Warren Jeffs compound – how could I NOT be watching this??? It’s a little overacted at times, but forgivable.
- Ancient Aliens (History): Not only do I love this show on its own merits, it also affords me the opportunity to spend time with my unwitting fiance, Giorgio Tsoukalos. Yeah, he doesn’t know it, but that crazy-haired little monkey SHALL BE MINE (Gilbert should be fine with it, it’s all about the gyros and the geek cred!)
I will also watch the shit out of any House, Bones, Castle, SVU or what have you, especially in marathon form. And as we all know, I’m a HUUUUUGE dork, so I also spend a lot of time gettin’ my learn on, watching History and Discovery and such for fun. My latest forays include a 2-hour show on The St. Valentine’s Day Massacre and several shows about dinosaurs/cavemen/whatnot.
Also, it’s illegal to have a platypus for a pet. Mother. Fucker.
Your turn, Hooligans – what boob-toobage can’t you live without?