I was gonna have the hook from “Without Me” start playing whenever you opened this post, but 1) Autoplay is super annoying and should have died with MySpace, and 2) Do you have any IDEA how many lawyers Eminem has???
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls (not that this blog is even CLOSE to anything below a PG-13!) — Hoody’s back. Long-time readers will remember that Hoody’s internal organs have been, shall we say… less than cooperative in the past. Well, unfortunately, that really hasn’t changed all that much. I’m down a gallbladder, and that HAS helped somewhat, but the ol’ pancreas still thinks it’s the law in this here town, and sometimes it’s right. But every cloud has a silver lining — at least I can eat, well, FOOD now! And the “panc-attack” days have brought us a great recipe.
I call it “All You Can Eat” Chicken and Rice. Now, usually, “All You Can Eat” would mean you’re getting your grub on at the Calabash Buffet for $29.95, never-ending fried seafood until the paramedics have to roll you out. But this recipe is for the days when plain chicken and rice is literally ALL you are able to eat.
But never fear, y’all know me. I ain’t never had a relationship I couldn’t fuck up (yet – more on that in a later post), and I ain’t never seen a recipe I couldn’t make taste at least moderately good, if not downright slap-yo’-mama tasty. So here tis’:
“All You Can Eat” Chicken & Rice”
You will need:
- 1 large can of chicken in water (10 or 12 oz., depending on brand)
- Approximately 6 cups cooked rice (I do mine in the rice cooker using 3 of the rice-cooker scoops. By the way, this isn’t a sponsored post or anything, but my rice cooker is my new favorite appliance and has paid for itself in less than 3 weeks. Seriously, if you don’t have one, GET YOU A RICE COOKER IMMEDIATELY. You won’t regret it, and I can promise you I’ll be bringing you more tales of rice cooker experimentation — some good, some horribly, horribly bad).
- Butter, salt, and pepper (these are optional and entirely dependent on your own taste and/or current ability to digest such things)
- Scoop the cooked rice into a large mixing bowl. In this particular case, size really DOES matter. Don’t try to use a medium bowl, you’ll regret it when it comes time to stir.
- Drain the chicken “juice” onto the rice and stir in with a fork. DO NOT SKIP THIS STEP. This is what gives you that creamy texture. Without it, you get rice with chicken in it, not chicken and rice.
- Dump the drained chicken onto a cutting board and chop. You’re basically letting the chicken fall apart along its natural grain into small, coarse pieces that will mix easily with the rice.
- Mix the chopped chicken into the rice. Using your fork, mix until you can’t get a bite of rice without chicken or a bite of chicken without rice.
- Microwave (covered) for 1 to 2 minutes to blend flavors.
Voila! You’ve just made Hoody Hoo’s (Soon to be) World Famous “All You Can Eat” Chicken & Rice. This recipe makes about 7 servings for me and stores easily in the fridge (just cover the bowl with plastic wrap). I just scoop some into a bowl, heat it up in the microwave for about a minute, and dig in.
Now, if I’m having a particularly bad internal organs day, I’ll eat this plain. If I’m feeling a bit more adventurous, I’ll add salt and pepper. On “normal” days, I’ll get all fancy and melt in a pat of butter on each serving.
On a personal note – sorry to have been away so long, Hooligans. It’s been a tough few years, but things are starting to get back on track (I hope!). I’ll try to stop in from time to time with my usual recipe — snark and sass in equal measures — along with the occasional REAL recipe as I explore the wild, wonderful world of actually being able to eat.
Love y’all, mean it!