… from “The Last Ship.”
Yeah, it’s been awhile, but hey, most of the funny/fucked up shit that happens to me has to do with The Concubine (without her knowledge), and I almost feel bad shaming her on Teh Interwebz. I know, weird, right? Me feeling shame. But anyhoo…
LESSONS LEARNED FROM “THE LAST SHIP”
- The CDC is never here to save YOU, dumbass. They’re here to save other people. FROM you. (Actually, I already knew this.)
- Jason Dean is still smokin’ fuckin’ hot. My argument:
- Don’t even fucking THINK about killing the dog, inexplicable Russian ninjas. I WILL CUT YOU.
- Two words: JAYNE COBB! That is all.
- Jason Dean and Jayne Cobb manage to make up for that actress who looks like she smelled a fart.
- We are, at this moment, potentially 2 months away from President Boehner. Wait, wait, stop cutting yourself, I said POTENTIALLY.
- Radio silence is NEVER for your own protection.
- When all else fails, fucking do it yourself. Fear of electrocution is for PUSSIES.
- If you fail to answer your phone, I’m totally allowed to come over to your place and steal your popcorn and mac n’ cheese.
- We get issued protective face shields for a reason. DUMBASS.
(although you did make the right choice, ma brotha. ain’t goin’ out like that.)
BONUS: Having kids and a wife is NOT. FUCKING. WORTH IT. The Night’s Watch has the right idea.
AND ONE CAVEAT: Naming a character “Dr. Scott” makes me want to throw toilet paper.
I love you, my Hooligans. And I’ll try to do better!