(Yeah, I know it’s been awhile, but I’m back now, bitches! I can’t promise posts every day just yet, but how about we go for 3 times a week and see how she flies? You know I love all y’all!)
Catching up with Almost Human, and I can’t believe – of all the euphemisms for “android you have sex with,” they use “sex-bot,” “bang-bot,” and “sexual-this-and-that-android” — but they DON’T use “ho-bot?” COME ON!!! “Ho-bot” is PERFECT!
Maybe you can’t say “ho” on network TV… although one a’them FLDS ho’s said “bitch” on TLC…
Anyhoo, it got me thinking (always dangerous), so I present:
THE ABC’S OF AI
A: I got nothing.
B: Bo-bot – drives the General Lee (General Lee sold separately)
C: Co-bot – works only in pairs
D: Doh!-bot – Homer Simpson android
E: Still nothing.
F: Foe-bot – helps you learn combat skills
G: Go-bot – duh, an obnoxious Transformers knockoff
H: Ho-bot – we covered this
I: Nothing. Vowels are hard, yo.
J: Joe-bot – brings you coffee
K: KO-bot – brings you a Coke (look it up)
L: Lo-bot – smaller than usual
M: Mo-bot – pokes you in the eyes and calls you a numbskull
N: No-bot – acts like your wife OR: No-No-bot – rips out all your hair
O: Oh-OOOOH-bot – an homage to Sam Kinnison (RIP)
P: Po-bot – a homeless android
Q: Quo-bot – keeps things the same
R: Row-bot – works in Venice
S: Sew-bot – Mends your clothes OR: So-So-bot – not really the best available version
T: Tow-bot – works for the traffic cops
U: We’re back to nothing.
V: V.O.-bot – narrator android, possibly sounds like Morgan Freeman
W: WHOA!-bot – very surprising android
X: XO-bot – gives you hugs and kisses (cheaper but less satisfying than the ho-bot)
Y: Yo!-bot – Sylvester Stallone android OR: Yo-Yo-bot – plays the cello
Z: Best I can do is the Zoe-bot, which is a smokin’-hot African American android that can kick your ass and knows Nathan Fillion
Your turn, Hooligans – fill in the vowels for me or add your own!