I Shop, Therefore I Am

So DSM and I went out shopping today — just half-assed, goofing off shopping plus a small grocery store trip, nothing major (which is good, ’cause I didn’t find any of the things I was looking for).  But the reason WHY we went shopping is an interesting one…


I know, right?  Let’s leave aside the fact that this sort of request would NEVER fly with yours truly — I think we all know I’d be at Macy’s before you could say “charge it!”  But it’s the WORDING of it that gets me — “please don’t go in any stores.”  Not even to look!!!  WHAT IS LIFE WITHOUT LOOKING???

So we abided by the rule yesterday, but we busted out today and went to the Christmas Tree Shop (LOVE IT!), the dollar store, Barnes and Noble, and the A&P.  The only place we got anything on the list was the A&P, although it was harder than hell to leave the Barnes and Noble empty-handed.  

I did get a mighty fine mug at the Christmas Tree Shop, though.

So it’s your turn, Hooligans — what’s the most insane, WTF request a significant other has made of you?  And most importantly, didja do it?  Or knock their fool ass out?



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12 responses to “I Shop, Therefore I Am

  1. Bahahhaaha. I’d probably be the one to make the insane request to Boyfriend. “BOYFRIEND. PLEASE STOP TALKING TO WOMEN AT WORK. I DON’T CARE IF THEY REPORT TO YOU I DON’T LIKE IT.” Or something.


  2. My boyfriend (and then-roommate) asked me not to enter the kitchen for about an hour. Of course, I IMMEDIATELY decided I needed a glass of juice and marched right in there. Turns out that he and Other Male Roommate were making shrimp scampi and swordfish steaks, and as I am very, very, very allergic to everything edible in the ocean, it was a reasonable request…and ambulances rides are only fun when you are conscious.

    The next time he made the request, he led off with “Me and Other Male Roommate are GOING TO KILL YOU WITH SEAFOOD if you enter the kitchen in the next hour.” Much more reasonable request.


  3. Concubine? How might one score a concubine? I would like to know so I can have one then teach them that theirs is not the giving of instruction but the taking.


  4. Once upon a time when I was in one of those controlling relationships, I was asked not to wear makeup or skirts. If I wore make up, it was to look pretty for someone else and the skirts were easy access if I wanted to cheat on him… Lucky with my new husband, the oddest things I get asked to do is dress that some game character in the bedroom or something similar too, to which I say no…most of the time 😉


  5. flyingplatypi

    I wish a mofo would even try!!!




  6. I’m the asshole who does most of the irrational requesting in this relationship! My bad.


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