F**k You, Betty!

Sorry I’ve been incommunicado for so long — my new Summertime Resolution is to blog every day.  So strap on in, bitches!

Once upon a time, two beautiful princesses named Hoody Hoo and Dear Sweet Mama happened upon a wonderful treasure.  And the name of that treasure was Tuna Helper Tuna Pot Pie Mix.  And the princesses ate it at least once a week, and it was good.  But then the mighty Gods of Tuna Helper decided not to make the Tuna Pot Pie mix anymore.

And the entire realm mourned and tore its hair.

The Evil Sorceress Betty Crocker had taken the Tuna Pot Pie away from all the world, and all the people moaned and wailed.  And Hoody Hoo and Dear Sweet Mama tried again and again to resurrect the Tuna Pot Pie, but to no avail.


“Screw Helper Tuna Pot Pie”

For the Bottom Crust

1 cup Bisquick

2 TBSP salted butter

2 TBSP milk

For the Top Crust

1 cup Bisquick

2/3 cup milk

2 TBSP butter, melted

For the Filling

1/4 cup Bisquick

1/2 tsp salt

1 tsp garlic powder

1 tsp black pepper

1 bag frozen mixed vegetables, thawed (corn, peas, carrots)

1 can cream of mushroom soup (prepared with 1/2 can milk)

1 large can tuna, WITH LIQUID


1.  Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.

2.  Prepare the Bottom Crust:  In a medium bowl, cut the butter into the Bisquick until the mixture forms coarse crumbs.  Stir in the milk until mix begins to form a ball.  Pat dough onto the bottom and sides of a 9-inch pie plate (or whatever baking dish you prefer).  Bake for 5 minutes, remove from oven and set aside.

3.  Prepare the Filling:  Prepare soup as directed in a large saucepan.  Bring to boil; add thawed vegetables.  Return to stove over medium heat, stirring frequently, until mixture returns to boil.  Add salt, pepper and garlic powder.   Boil for 1 minute.

4.  Remove from heat and stir in tuna WITH LIQUID.  For a firmer filling, lightly dust mixture with Bisquick and stir.  Pour mixture into the prepared bottom crust.

5.  Prepare the top crust:  In a small bowl, whisk together Bisquick, milk and melted butter until smooth.  Pour crust mixture over filling, spreading with spatula for even coverage.

6.  Bake at 400 degrees F for 25 minutes, until top is golden brown.  Let stand 10 minutes before serving.




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6 responses to “F**k You, Betty!

  1. I just threw up in my mouth (because, really, where else would I throw up? My big toe?) a lot.


  2. …or if you’re really in a rush, pick up some refrigerated pie crusts in the dairy section.
    However, now that I’ve put it in print, Pillsbury will probably discontinue it. :p


  3. Chris Cochran

    I must save this entry!


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