Hey, Dumbass!

Well, it seems Hoody Hoo’s Help for Hebrews isn’t taking off as the big successful  get-rich-quick scheme humanitarian effort I was hoping it would be… so I’m forced to make me some damn money help others in another way.

Ladies and Gentlemen… the Dumbass Alert.

This will be an app for one’s phone which will alert one to the fact that one is being a dumbass.  It originated when Dear Sweet Mama got the same book out of the library that she had just turned in… because she thought it looked good.  And I told her, yes, it DID look good, that’s why you got it the first time… dumbass.

So the Library Function is first:  I need to be alerted if I go to check out a book I have checked out within the past 3 months.  This will also prevent me thinking I’m smart because I “figured out” who the killer was when I actually just remembered it.  Not that I’ve done that…

Next, the Grocery Function:  This prevents me from buying excessive amounts of… let’s say, ketchup… because I always think I’m out of ketchup whenever I’m at the store.  Again, not that I’ve done that…

But in case you didn’t know, there really aren’t that many good recipes that use massive quantities of ketchup…

Now, I just needs me a nerd to make this App for me (I’m not that kind of nerd, unfortunately – I’m more of an Amish nerd.).  And no, it’s NOT free, that would set my own Alert off, now wouldn’t it?





Filed under Adventures with Dear Sweet Mama, GENIUS!, La Vida Loca, SCIENCE!

12 responses to “Hey, Dumbass!

  1. You can make BBQ sauce with massive amounts of ketchup. We always have to buy a couple of the big bottles when we’re making BBQ because it calls for cups and cups and cups of the stuff.

    But the dumbass app is a great idea. Wish I knew more about coding and shit, I’d help a girl out.


  2. I’ve started using a grocery list phone app. The only problem is that I add things to the list when I think of them, which is generally not when I’m home and can check to see whether I’m actually out of ketchup or not. Dumbass.


  3. Can it let me know that I own absolutely nothing that takes AAA batteries? Just once, I’d like to have AAs around when I need them. (I.e., when the remote dies. Again.)


  4. There’s nothing wrong with extreme couponing… It’s like stock piling for the zombie apocalypse. ;0)




  5. Jilly

    I need the grocery app badly. First it was butter, then toilet paper, then peanut butter, etc, etc.


    • I think it’s a legitimate disability for which we should get government benefits! Let’s see… “Pantry Amnesia affects millions of Americans every day… send money now…”


  6. AwesomelyBlonde

    Grocery Life Hack: take a pic on your phone of your fridge before your go shopping… that way you know what’s there…. (like 3 bottles of ketchup for example…)


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