Just In Case

Although a very dear friend in Singapore tells me it’s End of the World Day there already and… well, they’re still there, there are also people saying the Mayan ‘Pocolypse isn’t scheduled until around 6:20 am EST… So, in case we all die, I leave you with some wisdom.  ‘Cause I’m all like Yoda n’ shit.

1.  Dear Sweet Mama and I have half-assedly made up through our own stupidity DISCOVERED a brand new word.

“Alacricity” <Ah-lah-KRISS-uh-tee>. Noun.  1.  The instant of intense pain and shock you feel when your Crocs completely acceptable shoes (for douchebags) set off the static electricity while you are fondling price tags at TJ Maxx trying to cure cancer.  2.  The exact moment at which a food becomes manky (i.e., unfit to eat).  Example:  “I threw out those glazed donuts due to the alacricity of their icing.”

2.  When I first moved in with DSM and The Concubine, I pissed and moaned expressed my concern over their habit of leaving the blinds open during the day, due to my own habit of being without pants.  DSM said I would “get used to it.”  I have not, but I presume the neighbors have “gotten used to” not looking in this direction.

3.  I am considering making the infamous Broccoli Stuff to take to our friends’ house for Christmas dinner.  My conundrum is this:  Given the potentially-deadly nature of Broccoli Stuff, is giving it to other people an act of friendship or an offense outlawed by the Geneva Convention?  Discuss.

Love to y’all, and if the End Times ARE upon us, remember, the new East Coast rally point is Joisey!




Filed under Adventures with Dear Sweet Mama, GENIUS!, Getchore LEARN on!, I'm Confused, Random Thoughts, Things I Don't Know, Youse Guys

16 responses to “Just In Case

  1. Chris Cochran

    Broccoli Stuff should be acceptable, just do not subject them to weenie delight.


  2. Oh good. Joisee ain’t that far away. I could probably hoof it up there in a week tops! Depending on how many zombies I have to dispatch on the way. See you soon!


  3. Have you considered that your broccoli stuff may CAUSE the apocalypse? Knowing my own reaction to too much of that stuff, especially when I’ve been drinking beer…


  4. If you brought Broccoli Stuff to my house, it would get eaten long before it had a chance to get alacricitous.


  5. Around here, we call it Green Stuff Casserole. However, the way I cook, I could say that about almost anything.


  6. I think Broccoli Stuff is the actual source for the Mayan Apocalypse.

    Hey, if the end of days starts in the Caribbean, would it be the Apocalypso?


  7. Hoody, doughnut glazing does not get alacricitic. Ever. The bready part might go bad, but the glazing is good even if you might chip your teeth on it. It’s like honey that way, even if the scientific community hasn’t yet publicly acknowledged that fact.


  8. If y’all are talking about the Broccoli Stuff with the cheese and the Ritz crackers, then the only thing that ever killed anybody about that was dying from deliciousness.


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