Although a very dear friend in Singapore tells me it’s End of the World Day there already and… well, they’re still there, there are also people saying the Mayan ‘Pocolypse isn’t scheduled until around 6:20 am EST… So, in case we all die, I leave you with some wisdom. ‘Cause I’m all like Yoda n’ shit.
1. Dear Sweet Mama and I have
half-assedly made up through our own stupidity DISCOVERED a brand new word.
“Alacricity” <Ah-lah-KRISS-uh-tee>. Noun. 1. The instant of intense pain and shock you feel when your
Crocs completely acceptable shoes (for douchebags) set off the static electricity while you are fondling price tags at TJ Maxx trying to cure cancer. 2. The exact moment at which a food becomes manky (i.e., unfit to eat). Example: “I threw out those glazed donuts due to the alacricity of their icing.”
2. When I first moved in with DSM and The Concubine, I
pissed and moaned expressed my concern over their habit of leaving the blinds open during the day, due to my own habit of being without pants. DSM said I would “get used to it.” I have not, but I presume the neighbors have “gotten used to” not looking in this direction.
3. I am considering making the infamous Broccoli Stuff to take to our friends’ house for Christmas dinner. My conundrum is this: Given the potentially-deadly nature of Broccoli Stuff, is giving it to other people an act of friendship or an offense outlawed by the Geneva Convention? Discuss.
Love to y’all, and if the End Times ARE upon us, remember, the new East Coast rally point is Joisey!