Hooody-hooooooooooooo, bitches! I’m finally getting back on my feet, living with Dear Sweet Mama and the Concubine on the Jersey Shore, no less, and I PROMISE I am getting back to blogging. First, a few things I have learned since moving up here:
1. Jets suck Knicks suck Mets suck. I am choosing to be a Yankees fan to keep my CT stepbrother, the Luke to my Leia, still talking to me. I will also be rooting for the Phillies since their farm team is down the road… and if you see Tim Tebow, tell him Jesus said GO GIANTS!!!
2. Jersey girls don’t pump gas. This is true. If you try to step out of your car at the gas station, a little Iranian man in an Exxon jacket comes screaming out of the station at you, yelling “Back in car, back in car!”
3. You can wear FUCKING ANYTHING here and no one bats an eye.
4. The word, “Ay!” is really the only communication most New Jersey natives have with each other. It covers all language needs and serves as a kind of Joisey Esperanto.
5. The Northeast has more fucking liquor stores than even I feel is appropriate.
More later, loves. I’ve missed you!
HH
hoodyhoo 
HOOOOODDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! Oh how I’ve missed your ass. You don’t call, you don’t write. Pfft. This is no way to treat family, sis. And I know damn well you did NOT just say you were rooting for those damn Yanks. Especially not while our O’s are currently trying to whoop them. That might be cause for disownment!
(Did you get ANY of my emails?)
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Welcome back Hoody, but I’m with Misty. Let’s go O’s! And somebody please kidnap Raul Ibanez, OK?
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Don’t fret, I still love my O’s, but I have to be undercover or Luke will go all Darkside on my ass! (or maybe he’s the good one…)
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Oh, and checking email goes the way of blogging once you start seein’ shit – it’s not recommended!
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Glad to see you back on line
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Thenk yew, thenk yew verra much!
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HOODY! Oh, how I’ve missed you! Good to hear from you and glad you’re getting sorted out.
I wish we had some Iranian mens around here to pump gas. I HATE pumping gas.
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Apparently it’s a law or something that only trained professionals (with jackets with their names on them, no less!) can pump gas. Not that I’m driving yet anyway (again, seein’ shit, not recommended)
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Ay!
I’m not sure I did that right. Anyway, welcome back!
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Ay! Howsa you mama an’em? I’m trying to keep some Southern in my swag up here. Fuck, did I use that right?
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Long time, no see! How’s tricks, bitch? It’s been so quiet out here in the intertubes since you’ve been gone. I’m soooooo glad you’re back!
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Interestingly enough, it’s much quieter EVERYWHERE once I leave! Or at least, that’s what they said at the library…
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We look forward to you adventures with the natives, particularly advanced linguistics. “AY! Wa GTL o ya jus DTF?”
And soooooo very glad you’re back.
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is it bad that I understood that?
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So glad you’re back!
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Me, too, I’ve missed all you bitches!
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Glad you’re back, but I have one quibble.
The Yankees? Really? *sigh*
Despite that small error in judgement, I’m still happy to see you’re kicking it again.
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IT’S NOT MY FAULT!!! Connecticut stepbrother is one of the few people I think could kick my ass (and would probably enjoy it in some fashion). Therefore, for all intents and purposes, I am a Yankees fan (go O’s).
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In that case, I’ll give you a pass. But only because you have a really good reason.
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Truth be told, I might kinda enjoy it, too…
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Welcome back sugar. Glad to see you up and about-ish
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“Ish” is probably apt… who knew I was this crazy, right? DON’T ANSWER THAT.
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The Yankees… I hear they’re going to the Super Bowl… going to win the Stanley cup…
And New Jersey sounds super exciting. Have you gotten a tan yet? I hear you can’t really fit in until you’re a nice, crispy orange color… Oh, and big hair is a MUST. Just… do your hair like EVERYONE did in circa 1990 and it’ll be awesome.
Holy shit, I’ve missed you, Hoody.
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Dayum, welcome back! I’m glad to hear you’re getting acclimated… Looking forward to the stories !
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No tan, but I did dye my hair bright red and paint my nails to match. And I don’t go out without big hair sprayed into a hair helmet, so we’re good there!
P.S. There is no acclimate… there is only “Ay!” or “Ay!” not.
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Oh so glad you’re back! I was dangerously close to deleting you from my favorites list. Not so glad to hear you are now a Yankees fan. Family tradition for my family to hate the Skankees.
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ME TOO! I used to have a whole diatribe about salary caps and the lack thereof, but see above re: getting my ass kicked.
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I have no opinion on any of those sports teams. You should give up on them all an start following hockey. Except we might not get NHL this year. Go farm teams!
Welcome back. I, too, have missed you.
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I do love hockey, and I am a rabid Pens fan. Foresee dangerous barfights in my future…
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That’s it!! Imma gonna drive my ass to Jersey and pick up you and get Valerie too.. I’ll pick up Misty along the way and we will do an Atlantic City crazy ass blogger bitch weekend. Although Four crazy asses in my little GTI may be close quarters, but suck it up! There’s a sunroof!
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Fuck yeah! I’m in. Let’s do this thing!!
Dibs on sticking my head out the sunroof, yo.
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I’m all in, as long as you wait until my internal organs resume somewhat proper function… who knew my doctor was an idiot and Jack Daniels is NOT the breakfast of champions?
P.S. Misty, you will not stick your head out the sunroof. That’s how people get decapitated… that, and telling me “It’s not you, it’s me…”
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Just as I was beginning to despair of you returning….ay? So GLAD you’re back!
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I’m not only back, I’m heavily medicated and living in an area where no one even notices… STRAP IN, Y’ALL!
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1. Yay! You’re back!
2. Presumably with all your limbs!
3. New Jersey sounds brilliant–DSM and the Concubine wouldn’t have another spare bedroom, would they?
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1. Thanks!
2. So far, so good…
3. Screw it, you can bunk in with me… I only kick a little…
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i’ve missed you! Welcome back! I even tweeted you a couple weeks ago randomly, hoping you hadn’t forgotten us!
Glad you’re getting settled. Take your time. 🙂
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Phone is still teh fucked, making it hard to tweet, but I’ll do my best to stay in touch here. I’ve missed all of you!
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Holy Fuckballs, YOU’RE BACK!!!!!!! I’ve missed you mad hard, Girl. For the record, we don’t pump our own gas here in Or-y-gun either. Get my princess paws all covered with petrol and shame? Oh, HELLZ no!
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Missed you, too, Jedi Master! I’m digging the gas thing, it makes me feel all superior and shit!
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i damn near gave up on you, girl. imma move your bookmark up now.
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