Feels So Empty Without Me…

Hooody-hooooooooooooo, bitches! I’m finally getting back on my feet, living with Dear Sweet Mama and the Concubine on the Jersey Shore, no less, and I PROMISE I am getting back to blogging.  First, a few things I have learned since moving up here:

1. Jets suck Knicks suck Mets suck.  I am choosing to be a Yankees fan to keep my CT stepbrother, the Luke to my Leia, still talking to me.  I will also be rooting for the Phillies since their farm team is down the road… and if you see Tim Tebow, tell him Jesus said GO GIANTS!!!

2.  Jersey girls don’t pump gas.  This is true.  If you try to step out of your car at the gas station, a little Iranian man in an Exxon jacket comes screaming out of the station at you, yelling “Back in car, back in car!”

3.  You can wear FUCKING ANYTHING here and no one bats an eye.

4.  The word, “Ay!” is really the only communication most New Jersey natives have with each other.  It covers all language needs and serves as a kind of Joisey Esperanto.

5.  The Northeast has more fucking liquor stores than even I feel is appropriate.

More later, loves.  I’ve missed you!

HH 

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42 Comments

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42 responses to “Feels So Empty Without Me…

  1. HOOOOODDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! Oh how I’ve missed your ass. You don’t call, you don’t write. Pfft. This is no way to treat family, sis. And I know damn well you did NOT just say you were rooting for those damn Yanks. Especially not while our O’s are currently trying to whoop them. That might be cause for disownment!

    (Did you get ANY of my emails?)

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  2. caryesings

    Glad to see you back on line

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  3. HOODY! Oh, how I’ve missed you! Good to hear from you and glad you’re getting sorted out.

    I wish we had some Iranian mens around here to pump gas. I HATE pumping gas.

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    • Apparently it’s a law or something that only trained professionals (with jackets with their names on them, no less!) can pump gas. Not that I’m driving yet anyway (again, seein’ shit, not recommended)

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  4. Ay!

    I’m not sure I did that right. Anyway, welcome back!

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  5. Long time, no see! How’s tricks, bitch? It’s been so quiet out here in the intertubes since you’ve been gone. I’m soooooo glad you’re back!

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  6. We look forward to you adventures with the natives, particularly advanced linguistics. “AY! Wa GTL o ya jus DTF?”
    And soooooo very glad you’re back.

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  7. Glad you’re back, but I have one quibble.

    The Yankees? Really? *sigh*

    Despite that small error in judgement, I’m still happy to see you’re kicking it again.

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  8. Chris Cochran

    Welcome back sugar. Glad to see you up and about-ish

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  9. The Yankees… I hear they’re going to the Super Bowl… going to win the Stanley cup…

    And New Jersey sounds super exciting. Have you gotten a tan yet? I hear you can’t really fit in until you’re a nice, crispy orange color… Oh, and big hair is a MUST. Just… do your hair like EVERYONE did in circa 1990 and it’ll be awesome.

    Holy shit, I’ve missed you, Hoody.

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    • Virago

      Dayum, welcome back! I’m glad to hear you’re getting acclimated… Looking forward to the stories !

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      • No tan, but I did dye my hair bright red and paint my nails to match. And I don’t go out without big hair sprayed into a hair helmet, so we’re good there!
        P.S. There is no acclimate… there is only “Ay!” or “Ay!” not.

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  10. RJB in SD

    Oh so glad you’re back! I was dangerously close to deleting you from my favorites list. Not so glad to hear you are now a Yankees fan. Family tradition for my family to hate the Skankees.

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  11. I have no opinion on any of those sports teams. You should give up on them all an start following hockey. Except we might not get NHL this year. Go farm teams!

    Welcome back. I, too, have missed you.

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  12. That’s it!! Imma gonna drive my ass to Jersey and pick up you and get Valerie too.. I’ll pick up Misty along the way and we will do an Atlantic City crazy ass blogger bitch weekend. Although Four crazy asses in my little GTI may be close quarters, but suck it up! There’s a sunroof!

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    • Fuck yeah! I’m in. Let’s do this thing!!

      Dibs on sticking my head out the sunroof, yo.

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      • I’m all in, as long as you wait until my internal organs resume somewhat proper function… who knew my doctor was an idiot and Jack Daniels is NOT the breakfast of champions?
        P.S. Misty, you will not stick your head out the sunroof. That’s how people get decapitated… that, and telling me “It’s not you, it’s me…”

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  13. Jo

    Just as I was beginning to despair of you returning….ay? So GLAD you’re back!

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  14. 1. Yay! You’re back!
    2. Presumably with all your limbs!
    3. New Jersey sounds brilliant–DSM and the Concubine wouldn’t have another spare bedroom, would they?

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  15. i’ve missed you! Welcome back! I even tweeted you a couple weeks ago randomly, hoping you hadn’t forgotten us!

    Glad you’re getting settled. Take your time. 🙂

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  16. Jen

    Holy Fuckballs, YOU’RE BACK!!!!!!! I’ve missed you mad hard, Girl. For the record, we don’t pump our own gas here in Or-y-gun either. Get my princess paws all covered with petrol and shame? Oh, HELLZ no!

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  17. i damn near gave up on you, girl. imma move your bookmark up now.

    Like

  18. Pingback: Still Kickin’… JOISEY Style! | hoodyhoo

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