and shit gets weeeeeird at Ye Olde Apartment Complex!!!
Y’all who follow me on Twitter know I promised the daily dispatches from The Great Power Outage of ‘Ought-12 just as soon as Stu Redman broke me outta quarantine, so let’s begin:
Day 1: Wicked Freaky Windstorm Descends upon WBGV; power goes out
Field Operative’s Report:
1. Houseflies become thoroughly discombobulated by candlelight, making them much easier for The Horde to search and destroy.
2. Waily-Baby next door also becomes thoroughly discombobulated by the lights being out, making ME want to search and destroy.
3. Drunk young men will wander the halls, asking if anyone has a spare candle. Oddly enough, they never knock on my door… apparently they are possessed of highly-evolved sense of self-preservation.
4. Several large black dudes whom I have never seen before will congregate in the parking lot directly outside my window, apparently to charge their phones in their cars. While doing so, they will use the word “nigga” so often I believe they now owe Katt Williams some royalties.
5. Rumors begin that a tree is down across our only access road, preventing anyone from leaving and causing me to evaluate Redneck Hillfolk for their Soylent Green value.
6. Every pet owner’s favorite game “WTF did I just step on/in?” becomes an Extreme Sport.
Stay Tuned: Dispatches from Day 2 continue… in which Our Heroine foolishly leaves the Horde!