Problem Solved Part II

I can’t believe I spent yesterday’s post outlining my marvelous plan for saving the economy AND the planet by employing hobos to push me around in their shopping carts, yet somehow FORGOT this happened:

Scene:  Hoody is on the phone to Dear Sweet Mama

DSM:  Hello?

HH:  I’mma go down the hill and round me up a passel o’ ho’s.

DSM:  Ummmm… why?

HH:  I’mma make them bitches clean this house.

DSM: Oh, okay then. (see where I get it???)

HH:  See I figure the ho’s would prolly rather not ho, but they ain’t got no other skills.  So, I can pay them to clean the house, so I won’t have to clean and they won’t have to ho.  Win-win.

DSM:  You’d probably have to train ’em…

HH:  I figure ho’s are pretty good at learning new things.

DSM:  And they’d probably try to steal your stuff…

HH:  I ain’t really got all that much worth stealing.  Them ho’s prolly ALREADY got a better TV than I got.

DSM:  Sounds like a plan, then.

(Editor’s note:  Yes, my accent did get that bad… I had been cleaning house all day with a kerchief on my head and I was channeling Prissy from Gone with the Wind.)

Then, just when I thought the plan was perfect, Jana suggested we get the tweakers and other assorted speed freaks to clean the windows since they’re all jumping around anyway (for which she has earned a promotion to the Royal Court as Official Tweaker Wrangler).  I am also going to train them to get the dust bunnies out of the corners of the ceiling, because the ho’s probably can’t do that.

Ho’s tend to have back problems, you know.



Filed under Adventures with Dear Sweet Mama, GENIUS!, Getchore LEARN on!, I Rule You, La Vida Loca, SCIENCE!, The Royal Court

12 responses to “Problem Solved Part II

  1. Ha! Good idea. I want someone with OCD to come clean my place.


  2. Maybe you can find someone with Parkinson’s to buff your floors…


  3. You can have people with turrets shout them words of encouragements. I am sure that those ‘hos have heard everything. It might scare the tweakers though and the next thing you know you have face streaks on your windows. Ho’s can get the baseboards, they are used to bending low.


  4. Yeah, I’m sure those floors would be spotless at least. The hos are used to being on their knees, giving a good buffing. They would probably enjoy the rest this would give their jaws afterall.


  5. jen

    I live in the meth capital of the world (yeah, Oregon!) so I could probably wrangle you up a few tweaked out ‘hos. I’m a giver like that.


  6. Every time I think of ‘hos, I think of Kaylee in Firefly. “Oh look, they have boy whores! How thoughtful.” SO, I’ll take the boy whores. I have other ideas of what to do with them, since I already got a housecleaning service.


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