Talk This Way

Jayne has been increasing our edification and knowledge with selections from her “Achtionary” as part of the A to Z Challenge this month… Now, we all know I ain’t no team player and rules tend to make me recalcitrant, so I’m not doing the challenge… but I can still expand y’all’s vocabulary.  These are words in use around the Hoo Household, most of which do not exist, but should.

The most recent additions are actually both useful in the same situation.  The words are “POTE” <poht> and “PASSENGE” <pass-inj>.

POTE <poht> noun:  A drink of water.  Origin: the signs on water trucks that say “non-potable water.” Example: “I have this bottle of water, would you care for a pote?”

PASSENGE <pass-inj> verb:  the act of riding in a car.  Example:  “No, you go ahead and drive, I prefer to passenge.”

So if you are passenging and you have a bottle of water, it is only polite to offer the driver a pote.

Other Hoo-words include:

CLEATING <klee-ting> verb:  The eating that you do while cleaning out the refrigerator, which you excuse as “getting rid of leftovers” and which often results in meals like “Mashed Potatoes and a Tuna Salad Sandwich.”  Example:  “The fridge is full of Tupperware, so I’ll be doing a lot of cleating later.”  Past tense: CLATE <klayt> Example: “I’d love to go to dinner, but I already clate.”

WHAM!NESIA <wam-nee-jhuh> noun:  The belief that you have good taste in music despite all the evidence to the contrary in your record collection.  Example:  “Joe called me out on my Wham!nesia when he found out I know all the words to ‘Ice Ice Baby.'”

HAMNESIA <ham-nee-shuh> noun:  The mental state in which you go back to the fridge for “just one more bite,” even though you ate your weight in ham a few hours before. Example: “”You’re getting another plate already? You must have hamnesia!”  Most famous case study:  Calpurnia Jean

ELECTRONICAL <ee-lek-trahn-ick-ull> adjective:   Used to describe a device that is both electronic and technologically advanced (i.e. confusing).  Example:  “I’m sure there’s an electronical device that could do that for you.”  (Word Origin: Chuckweasel)

FBFP (acronym: FaceBook Faux Pas) : Any action taken on a social networking site that either A) offers too much information or is otherwise inappropriate; B) is just lame; or C) causes a panic (I’m lookin’ at you, DSM!). Example: “Dude, did you just post pics from your colonoscopy AND ‘Like’ your own status? Major FBFP.”

PEGGY’D: <peh-geed> adverb : The process by which a call to any customer service center takes twice as long as it should due to the representative’s incomprehensibly bad English.  Example:  “I was on the phone to the bank for 3 hours!”  “Man, you got Peggy’d.”

APOCOLIST <uh-pock-oh-list> noun:  The shopping list you make of things you need to stock up on before the End Times.  Example:  “I don’t want to get scurvy, so make sure to put fruit salad on the Apocolist.”

PHOBE: <fohb> verb transitive : To suffer irrational fear of something.  Example:  “Dude, it’s just a spider, you don’t need to phobe about it!”  Word Origin:  Chuckweasel

FLEAZERS <flee-zurz>noun : The old pair of tweezers that are no good for plucking eyebrows anymore and have been retired to picking fleas off the kitten.  Example:  “Ti-Jacques!  Hold Still or Mommy’s gonna get the fleazers!”

Got any words I missed?


 

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22 Comments

Filed under Adventures with Dear Sweet Mama, Calpurnia Jean, Chuckweasel, GENIUS!, Getchore LEARN on!, I Rule You, La Vida Loca, Youse Guys

22 responses to “Talk This Way

  1. Ha! These are all fantastic sounding words. I get a lot of hamnesia.. (not with ham, per se.)

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  2. Two good ones I’ve heard recently, although I can’t take the credit for their creation:
    Sarchasm – the gap between the author of sarcastic wit, and the fool who doesn’t understand it. “I’d insult you again, but there appears to be a sarchasm between us…”
    Manstruation – the suffering a woman experiences during the time a man is whining like a little girl. “No, he’s in bed with a man-cold. I’ve been manstruating all morning.”

    I particularly liked ‘apocolist’ – I shall be adopting its usage in my own home worthwith!!

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    • Oh man . . . my mother suffers from a terminal case of sarchasm. Whilst I am joking with my dad and husband, being my normal snarky and sarcastic self, she has been known to say, “what do you mean? I don’t get it. Can you just explain that to me.” Yeah, because explaining jokes afterwards makes them oh so much funnier.

      She’s visiting this weekend. Wish me luck.

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  3. We have a very similar thing to Cleating. But it occurs when we are making food and there are lots of plates of stuff lying on the island in the kitchen, and we basically just stand there grazing on all the stuff, rather than sitting down with a plate. It is GREATING.

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  4. OMG! You fuckin rock!!!

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  5. jen

    “Sarcastibitch” for ladies such as you and I. 🙂

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  6. Bah ha ha! Love it! My faves are passenge, apocolist, and phobe. “Jen likes to daydream about her apocolist while she passenges so she doesn’t phobe out on how fast Dan is driving.”

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  7. I’ve been using electronical for years! I never cleat, though. By the time I ever get around to cleaning out the fridge, there’s nothing in there worth cleating OR poting, unless you find mold tasty.

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  8. wondwerededed over from Jayne’s site. seems some powerful wordsmithing going on…

    liked this post!

    a to z has its advangates…advantages…beerspling…trying to spell when your drinking beer…

    happy days!

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  9. Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd

    I have a seriously bad case of WHAM!nesia. I own Ice Ice Baby an also know all the words to it. That’s just the tip of the iceberg (unintentional pun!).

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  10. Don’t look now, Hoody, but you’ve just been smote with the Kreativ Blogger Award, just for being so awesome. You can find it in today’s post at my site (after you wade through all of MY kreativ bullshit…)

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