That Boy Ain’t Right

For all of y’all unfortunates who are NOT lucky enough to be GRITS (Girls Raised In the South), that phrase may perplex you a little.  It’s what you say when someone’s behavior is so inexplicably odd that you just can’t figure them out whatsoever.  It can refer to their upbringing (alternately, “that boy weren’t RAISED right” or, more often, to their overall mental capacity.

Now, this is not to be confused with black culture, in which “You ain’t right!” generally means you did something or said something that was slightly offensive but still fuckin’ funny.

Ti-Jacques ain’t right.

Now, we all know cats like to sniff each others’ nether regions… I read somewhere that it’s kinda like a greeting combined with “Where ya been?  Was there food?”  And that’s fine.

But Ti-Jacques is taking it to the extreme.

I’m serious, he digs his nose up in there like he was looking for his keys!  And Callie Jean and the rest of the Horde do NOT appreciate this — the practice is getting him smacked on a more regular basis than usual.

Plus, he and Callie Jean both want to bury their food “for later” (yes, they think they are great lions of the savannah).  Unfortunately, burying things in carpet presents a problem, so one has to go GET something to put over top of the plate.  Usually, this is a discarded sock or someone else’s plate, but Ti in particular likes the plastic grocery bag method of hiding food for later.

And this weekend, he got aholt o’ the clear plastic one from the Chinese food place… and buried his food with it.

And when poor blind Callie tried to steal his food (see, this is why the burying), she could not figure out for the life of her why she could SEE the food (under the plastic) but not EAT it.

But then I did get to be the Great Savior Who Brings Forth Food from Nothingness, so that’s okay.

 

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17 Comments

Filed under Calpurnia Jean, Getchore LEARN on!, I'm Confused, Kittehs!, La Vida Loca

17 responses to “That Boy Ain’t Right

  1. Hahahah but you know their appreciation for you only lasts for as long as they take to eat it…

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  2. If you really want to mess with their little feline brains, you should serve their food covered in the plastic each time, and when they look at you like, “why can’t I eat it?” you can proceed to unveil the food with a flourish. They will think you are a god!

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  3. I picture your cats worshipping you like those little green things in the toy machine worship Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story. Or was it Woody… Hell if I know… I’m too old to keep track of that shit.

    Now what was my point again?

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  4. I wasn’t raised in the south, but I recognize “the boy ain’t right” from watching too much King of the Hill.
    And omg, I would be really unhappy if my cat decided to hide her food for later. Gross. It’s bad enough the dog likes to eat tootsie rolls from her cat box so I find litter and turd bits in my carpet. If I had to deal with food chunks stolen away? Nasty.

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  5. I went to college in the South, so I’m familiar with, “That boy ain’t right,” as well as “Isn’t she/aren’t you precious!” And when it’s time to bring out the big guns, “Bless his/her heart.”

    My cats don’t hide food, but they ain’t quite right either. Lila will run frantically into a room like her tail’s on fire, then walk around like she forgot what she came in for. Maybe she did. Crystal likes to walk up to one of us, stretch herself out on our leg, and do the nesting thing of kneading our thighs. While we’re standing up. She doesn’t want anything, she just needs to know that her humans are still soft and juicy.

    Cats are weird. But precious. Bless their little hearts.

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  6. My cats like to have me pick their nose – for the record, I never do. But if I put a finger out they will jam it up their nose, rather than just sniffing it like a normal cat.

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    • Callie Jean always wants you to rub behind her ears, but when you do, she has some kind of cat fit (like when you rub a dog’s belly and he “plays the banjo?” Same thing) and slings drool all over you!

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  7. My cat is a very elegant, dignified lady. It was starting to give me an inferiority complex. So I named her Stink.

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  8. Oh, my goodness. One of the only memories I haven’t blocked out of my mind from my time in rural Virginia is my totally cray-cray boss, whose response to almost any question or situation was, “This just ain’t riiiiiit.”

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