As Seen… In the Garbage (Pt. 2)

Getting back to our regularly scheduled program, we were discussing the horrible crap I have bought off the TV because I can’t seem to stop myself.  Let’s run down the list, shall we?

Fuckin’ Eggies.  And we all know how that turned out

The Infamous Slap-Chop:  Interesting fact, when that extremely annoying dude on the commercial says it’s a great stress reliever, he has no comprehension of just how much stress I apparently have.  Yeah, I broke that fucker the first time I used it.

Red Devil Grill & Picnic Set:  This one I actually did end up sending back — because by the time I received my portable grill and folding picnic table, I had remembered an important fact.  That being, that I don’t go anywhere and I hate the outside.

Tae Bo:  Hurt myself. Duh.  Also did myself a damage trying to learn Celtic Dance from a VHS tape.

Real Minerals Makeup:  It does indeed give your skin a healthy “glow,” but that glow is orange.  Like Snooki-eating-Cheetos-orange.  Not a good look.

And my latest foray (no, I have NOT learned my lesson): Sift and Toss Cat Litter Liners.  I still maintain that this SHOULD work; it’s basically a disposable sieve that you put under the litter, then you just lift it up, sift, and toss.  Unfortunately, the Horde didn’t read the directions on the box.  They proceeded to dig up the sievey-part and fold the plastic liner into a kind of a tent… which they then peed on.  FAIL.

It hasn’t been all bad, I have had success with at least a couple of the ridiculous things I have wasted money on — stay tuned for that on Monday!

Also, be sure to check out the recent additions to the Royal Court!  Remember, YOUR name could be up there someday — ahnd may the ahds be evah in youwuh favuh!

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29 Comments

Filed under Getchore LEARN on!, I'm Confused, Kittehs!, La Vida Loca, My Secret Shame(s), The Royal Court, WTF???, Youse Guys

29 responses to “As Seen… In the Garbage (Pt. 2)

  1. Yay for being in the royal court!!!

    The sieve thing is…interesting. I was watching something on tv about how to potty train your cat. Can’t teach it to flush, though…

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  2. Kiefer broke his Slap Chop, too.

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  3. I have tried every litter box under the sun. I’ve had five different electric ones, a rolly one (that one was kind of awesome), and the plain ol’ ones we have now. Why the plain ones? Because the added effort of the fancy ones saved NO time.

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  4. I had that Tae Bo tape as well. Back when it was all the rage. I kinda liked it, though. Pretend kicking the shit out of things was kinda therapeutic.

    I have a slap chop-esque thing from Pampered Chef. It rocks. And I have yet to break it. Just FYI. (And no, I don’t sell the stuff . . . anymore).

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    • That’s why I bought the Tae Bo — I thought it would be good for my apparently-intense stress (see: Slap Chop). But I hurt myself doing just the INSTRUCTIONAL tape before I even got into the actual routine ones. I am not graceful.

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  5. I have a slap-chop. It lasted for a couple years… because I only cook once every blue moon. I have bought a complete dishwear set on TV (from POLAND!) which actually turned out to be really nice except the gold trim along the edges sparked in the micowave and turned a sort of antique black (which I liked better).

    And once I bought a “stovetop convection oven”. I believe it is still in the garage somewhere, unassembled. Both of them. Because if you ACT NOW….

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  6. jen

    DO NOT SPEAK ILL OF THE SLAP CHOP! That little fucker is the bomb-dot-com.

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  7. I’m glad you tried out the sift and lift litter thing, because I would have totally bought that. Think of it as a public service. You’re exposing all these frauds for the rest of us!

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  8. The sift and lift litter made me laugh out loud. Not the product itself, so much as your cats’ responses to it. Maybe it wasn’t tested on animals.
    (ba dum bum *ching*)

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  9. fetchmyflyingmonkeys

    I almost ordered some Wen Hair stuff the other day because I woke up and it was on TV. It was liek I was being brainwashed. Glad I didn’t order any because apparently they automatically keep sending the stuff and charging your card even when you cancel.

    I don’t need the hassle of voodooing more folks.

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  10. fetchmyflyingmonkeys

    *like

    God, I really need to start editing before hitting “Post Comment.”

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  11. Pingback: Even a Stopped Clock… | hoodyhoo

  12. Yeah, that cat pan liner thingie seems like it should be a great idea, but it works only if your cats don’t act like they’re excavating coal when they use the litter box (like mine did, when I had cats. Shredded that thing to pieces).

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  13. Cinema Sugar

    It hurts my heart a little to learn about your returning the Red Devil Portable Indoor / Outdoor grill. You can make a PINEAPPLE UPSIDE DOWN CAKE WHILE CAMPING!! At least that’s what I remember about the ad and have coveted one of those things for so long. At an old apartment complex I lived in where Nobody Would Talk to Each Other, a neighbor actually spoke to me once when I was grilling out. Something benign like, “that smells good,” or something, and then I launched into my lament about how it could be so much better if I only had a Red Devil Portable Indoor / Outdoor grill, and he quickly made his way to the car and nobody in the complex ever spoke to me again. At least it helped my heart recover a little to learn that someone else found the instructional Tae Bo tape (i.e. the one where it’s not even a workout, but they’re just kind of demonstrating what some of the basic moves IN the actual work out will look like) challenging.

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    • yeah, has either of us ever gone anywhere to necessitate a portable grill? No. And I’m fairly sure Billy Blanks broke my kneecap… I stick to Richard Simmons!

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      • cinemasugar

        Ways in which we are incompatible:
        1. culinarily. Although I guess that’s not incompatibility in that we will never touch each other’s foods in the fridge. Refried beans are an abomination.
        2. indoors / outdoorsily. I love outdoors all except the bugs.

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        • You are INSANE. Refried beans are one of Nature’s Most Perfect Foods — they are fat-filled and thus comforting, you can eat them even if you have no teeth AND they go well with lotsa cheese. And I like to LOOK at outside, but I want to be able to get away from it and I DO NOT sleep there. There are BEARS there!

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