Dear sweet baby Jeebus, the stupid is running THICK this week! But at least now it’s catching on Dear Sweet Mama instead of me… and it’s yet another dose of the White Man’s Medicine.
DSM goes to one of her many doctors (I think the kidney one, which makes this EVEN MORE disturbing) and he tells her her kidneys are overworked because of all the protein shakes she drinks (insert “That’s what she said!” as needed).
DSM does not drink protein shakes. In fact, I’m not sure she’s ever been near one. In further fact, even I am more likely to ingest something so healthful-esque! And we all know what I eat.
But when she tells the doc this, he says, “Oh, then just stop eating so many protein bars.”
Ummm… Doc? That’s not happening either, unless you mean the ones that come in the wrapper marked “Snickers.”
So all we can assume is that DSM is somehow consuming these products without her own knowledge. And she does take that Ambien, which they say makes you do things, so maybe instead of sleep-driving or sleep-eating, she’s sleep-training-for-a-marathon? Of course, now she’s worried that she has a sleep-training-TEAM that’s gonna be pissed when she doesn’t show up for the marathon she doesn’t know she’s in.
See where I get it?