It’s NOT Me!

Ha!  Gots me some new bitch-don’t-be-crazy drugs and in doing so, I have discovered…

MY PHARMACIST

IS TRYING

TO MAKE ME CRAZIER.

Seriously, I dropped off the prescription for the extended-release Xanax (which is very cool, by the way, I no longer have ups-and-downs with the anxiety and everything seems slightly… fuzzy).  So I go back to get it and the little clerk gal says… wait for it…

“There’s no way you could be pregnant, right?”

WHA-WHA-WHAAAAAAAT?

I believe my answer was somewhere along the lines of “Christ, no,” but really?  REALLY?  This is what you ask the person picking up her crazy pills?  The same kind of pills I’d already been taking, btw, just a different formula.  Oh, yeah, I’m calm now!

But wait… there’s more…

Then a little later, the actual pharmacist gal asks me “Are you still taking the Prozac?”  Fuck yeah, I’m still taking the Prozac, do you see me on a clock tower?  But when I asked why, she says, “Oh, I just wanted to make sure your doctor knew you were taking these together.”

Um…

They were prescribed by the same doctor… to be taken together…

Am I gonna die?

Then Dear Sweet Mama chimes in with, “This is getting weird.  You better make sure they gave you the right pills.”  NOT HELPING!

Anyhoo, the pills are working, I’m much better now, and I really hope those were the right ones, ’cause I likeses them.  A LOT.

See y’all Monday with a rundown of the Completely-Shitfaced-Leg-of-Lamb I’ll be making for Saint Patrick’s Day (to compete with Laura’s Drunk-Ass-Pig)… Slainte!

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20 Comments

Filed under Adventures with Dear Sweet Mama, I'm Confused, Jesus and Pals, La Vida Loca, White Man's Medicine, WTF???

20 responses to “It’s NOT Me!

  1. I’m glad you’re feeling better. The anxiety-producing questions are probably just the pharmacist’s way of testing to see how well the Xanax is working.

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  2. Oh that’s comforting (sarcasm). It’s like he wants to make sure you’re paying attention.

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  3. Dear Sweet Mama

    Well, actually, being your DSM, my first thought was “are you implying that my daughter has – gasp – sex?!” Then I got aholt of myself. However, it was a freaky question but as we surmised, the Kroger pharmacy must care about you more than the ‘marts, who didn’t ask you these questions. And if you look closely at the babies some of their patrons are carrying, you see the results of that.

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  4. Leauxra

    The pharmacist just didn’t want you to end up with two headed babies is all. Some of those mood regulating drugs are pretty bad for itty bitty fetuses.

    One time I passed out. I had been helping a friend of mine move in the summer heat, got dehydrated, and that evening passed out over dinner at a Village Inn restaurant. My friend called my dad who met us at the hospital. I was asked by no less than 6 doctors if I was pregnant. Finally, one of them said, “How are you so sure you’re not pregnant?” I glanced at my father who was sitting right next to me, “Because I haven’t had sex in a year, OK?”

    Jerks.

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    • Well, damn. And if you were really truly sure you weren’t pregnant and your dad was sitting there, you should have just told them you were a virgin!! Would have shut them right up and would have proved to your dad what a pure and saintly daughter he had. 🙂

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  5. See, if it were me, the pharmacist would have gotten on a store intercom and yelled the questions over the loudspeaker! Actually, I love my pharmacists – they already know that I’m crazy.

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  6. Um, Hoody . . . it’s you. Really. Sorry to be the one to have to tell you this. It’s always you.

    Glad the crazy pills are working. Keep on keeping on, girl.

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  7. Don’t discount the convenience of having a 2-headed baby. Sure you have to feed both of them, but there’s only 1 diaper to change.

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  8. Going to the pharmacy is always a harrowing experience for me. Now that the pills are all generic and look exactly the same it’s even worse. And now they want to stick us full of pins for flu and hep B. Maybe I’m gonna start ordering my crazy pills by mail.

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  9. girl… I feel ya. And my crazy kid cocktail has to change because they’ve decided my blood counts are weird. Sweet! Crazy and wacky at the same time! Best part of the testing is the stupid questions…. They ask me if I’m pregnant… Nope. But not before they stick me in the radiation machine… then my favorite question by the doctor who I’ve been seeing for 10+ years and has put me on my Migraine therapy: When was your last period? Um 8 years ago. I usually get the “you are way too young for menopause” look but then remind her periods cause three days of blinding headache so those fuckers ain’t happenin and you said so doc! She flips through my chart and says ooohhhh. Okay.

    So anyhoo.. glad your cocktail is helping. Xanax is the shiz-nit.

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  10. cinemasugar

    I’m not entirely comfortable with this situation. Although the google reassures me it’s okay to take those in combination, I’d feel better if you made sure your dr. was being thorough – like did she address the combination with you, like “it’s okay that we’re combining these” or is there any chance he / she thought you were making a substitution of one for the other. Sorry I’m not being all funny here. Worried.

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    • I trust her — she actually insisted on seeing me before switching from regular Xanax to extended release,so she’s on the ball. Plus, I have so many specialists watching my fucked-up ass, there’s no way anything can slip past! Love you for worrying, though!

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  11. Every time I hear yet another person rave about the wonders of Xanax, I feel cheated all over again. Xanax doesn’t do lickety shit for me. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??? Anyway, glad it’s working for you. Stay off the clock towers.

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  12. Wait. Is the leg of lamb shitfaced, or are you while you’re making it? I’m Fries. I don’t understand this Irish stuff.

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  13. I’ve never been prescribed Xanax, and I feel all left out. This is worse than summer camp, where everybody else was in Bra Club. *cries* Ok, I probably couldn’t take Xanax because anything stronger than Sudafed knocks me out, but I WANT SOME, DAMMIT.

    I was given Effexor, which worked just fine on my depression — it made me homicidal instead. I never did kill anyone, but there was some intense plotting going on for a while.

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  14. Lost my shit at: “Do you see me on a clock tower?”

    Prozac is ruining clock towers for everyone.

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  15. Jo

    I am so totally mentioning Xanax on my next visit to the girl-don’t-be-crazy doctor….with my luck it will make ME homicidal, but that might not be all bad…right?

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    • I liked the take-as-needed kind, but the extended-release is the BOMB-DIGGITY! And I think even if it does make you homicidal, you’ll get distracted by something shiny before you actually get around to any killing!

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