So, where were we? Ah, yes. The jury has spoken, and the majority seems to believe it is okay to crush on characters in movies/shows/etc. because they do not, in fact, exist. It is less than okay to crush on actors, because they are actual real people who do, in fact, exist.
Ahem. Time for a countersuit.
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury: I present: MEGAN FOX.
Just about every man I have ever met (including YOU, Chuckweasel!) seems to think this chickie is hot. I say again: She HERSELF is apparently hot, no matter what role she is
destroying playing. This is in direct violation of the No-Crushing-on-Real-People Statute of 2012!
Also, she is a mutant with a toe for a thumb and is no longer biodegradable in any way.
But I admit, I myself would totally nail Patrick Stewart, William Shatner, and/or Seth McFarlane. The first 2 because it’s my civic duty to bang distinguished starship captains (I said DISTINGUISHED. Back it up, Janeway!) and the last because I feel we all oughta throw the man a bone (see what I did there?) for being so damn funny.
And just FYI: President Clinton’s obligatory-BJ from-every-American-citizen time is rapidly running out. You can’t ride that shit forever, Billy. Ask Jimmy Carter.
Happy Valentine’s Day, all my loves! Stay out of garages and away from the Mafia!