We DJ’d a Winter Formal for Chuckweasel’s old high school this weekend, and they did that hokey thing where they announce each couple as they come in. You know, “Ladies and Gentlemen, Miss Hoody Hoo and Mister Chuck Weasel.” Which I hate, for one thing, ’cause I was always the nerdy girl without a date, and for two, because if you’re going to do the announcing yourself, WHY DID YOU HIRE DJ’S??? But I digress.
Anyhoo, the lady they had doing the announcing was Chuckweasel’s old English teacher. And at first I thought our wireless mic was fucked up, because I couldn’t understand a damn thing she said. Then Chuckweasel informed me:
Yes, Hooligans, one of the people responsible for the way Chuckweasel talks… can’t talk right. Thank GAWD she was his HIGH SCHOOL English teacher, so at least he’d had some training before she got her lisping hands on him! Only in Wes’BYGAWD Virginny does this shit happen — I wonder if his gym teacher was a paraplegic?
This weekend also taught us that high school children know very well that the words to the CeeLo Green song are not really “Forget You,” because even when you play the clean version they still sing the dirty version and give their mean-ass assistant principal a coronary. (We thought it was funny, and seriously, my own position is I’d rather they said it than did it!) I was also witness to the largest single incidence of “Cotton Eye Joe” that I have ever seen in my life — which to me is proof the lil’ bassurds snuck in liquor!
And on a completely unrelated note, my latest inappropriate TV crush is the fae detective on “Lost Girl” (the white one, not the black one, ’cause I think the black one is a satyr and they’re hell on the carpets). Here’s the inappropriate part: I really only think he’s cute when he’s doing the “supernatural creature gonna eat your face off” snarl. So, we’re up to a Viking vampire, a snarky midget, and now a faery cop. Chuckweasel can rest easy!