Shawty Get Loose

Yes, the long-awaited Crippledupdate… Saw the rheumatologist on Tuesday and once again, it has been determined by the White Man’s Medicine that my joints are — quote — “too loose” (canna getta “That’s what she said!”).  Then she stole all my blood (which is why I didn’t blog earlier — I been laying around the house like Sookie after Valentine’s Day) to see what’s causing them to get… looser, I guess? Yes, my joints are rapidly becoming the elastic in your Paw-Paw’s underpants.

The good news is, she doesn’t THINK it’s the arthritis that’s causing it.  Of course, the bad news is, she doesn’t know what IS… part of it’s that I’ve always been flexible (due to the having no cartilage thing, I’m sure), and part of it is that my shit’s getting older and wearing out… but she’s making sure nothing ELSE is fucked up before we proceed.  Oh, good.

So right now, I’m using the tried and true method of spending a lot of time soaking in the bathtub — I mean for HOURS, people.  And Ti-Jacques is almost as fascinated with this as he is with the NeatDesk.  Here’s the process:

Step 1 (we can have lotsa fun… dammit, GET OUT OF MY HEAD!):  Ti stands with his front paws on the edge of the bathtub, breathing in the steam with his mouth open.

Step 2 (there’s so much… DAMMIT!):  Ti jumps up onto the edge of the tub so he can reach the water… then proceeds to pat it.

Step 3 (CONTROL!!!):  Ti reaches his EN-tire arm down into the water so he can touch Mommy’s leg.  Then he realizes he is wet and jerks his arm back, slinging water everywhere in the process.

Lather, rinse, repeat for however long I stay in the tub.  That cat is WEIRD.

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20 Comments

Filed under Kittehs!, La Vida Loca, White Man's Medicine

20 responses to “Shawty Get Loose

  1. Ti is weird? Or awesome? I think you meant awesome.

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  2. Hahhaha your cat sounds AWESOME.

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  3. So basically he is giving himself a facial from your hot bath water? Sounds like a smart cat to me. Now if only he could figure out this darned water obstacle to his mommy, he would be all set!

    Oh, and NKOTB will never leave your brain. You will be scarred forever, just like the rest of us . . . Step 1: we can have some fun . . . Mwahahahaha!!

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  4. I have a cat that jumps in the shower with me on occasion, and my friend’s cat GETS IN THE BATH with her and soaks. Maybe he just needs a little… encouragement?

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  5. If I take a bath I use oatmeal bubble bath. Oliver will scoop up the bubbles with his paw and eat them. And once the bubbles are gone he sits there and cries. Clearly something is wrong if The Girl is laying in water. No one would do that on purpose!

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  6. The cat sounds like a delightful bathtub companion. I Hope you feel better soon and they give you some great meds, which you can share with the rest of us. 🙂

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  7. Jen

    T needs to give Meownce a smack-down. She’s been a royal pain in the ass lately.

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  8. I have a shoulder that’s too loose – it’s a complete asshole. Hope you feel better!

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  9. Hopefully they figure out what’s wrong with your joints before you come apart completely, like one of those old jointed dolls that was strung with elastic. That could be traumatizing for anyone in the immediate vicinity.

    If I stay in the tub too long, Crystal and Lila both come into the bathroom. First, they sit on the floor and stare. Then they jump up to the tub rim and sniff my head (checking for signs of life, I assume). Nobody has swiped a paw into the water yet, but I’m guessing it’s a matter of time.

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    • That’s EXACTLY how I feel! That, or one of those bird marionettes that you buy at Disney World… all wobbly and flobbily!
      And I’m sure they’ll be patting your bathwater soon — they can’t help it!

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  10. guinspeg

    My ole cat (God rest his soul) would never let me bathe alone. He would ALWAYS get in the freaking bath with me. If you ever so much as managed five minutes alone in the bath… (small miracle) you would owe a leg-swipe of upsettedness from said cat on leaving the tub. And that kitty had some biceps lemme tell you. Easier just to let him swim around and pick the stray hairs from your skin laters. Or take a shower. He wasn’t fond of showers.

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