I Might Be a Redneck…

… okay, there’s really no “might” about it.  But I do know I’ve been working in country radio for too. damn. long.  And here’s how I know:

Yesterday was Chuckweasel’s first day riding the bus, and I asked him how it went.  Then this happened.

Chuckweasel:  Oh, it was fine.  I didn’t realize how expansive —

HoodyHoo (interrupting):  I thought it was a dollar?

CW:  What’s a dollar?

HH:  The bus.

CW:  It is.

HH:  But you said it was expensive…

CW (incredulously):  Um, honey… I said “exPANsive”… I was talking about the office complex where the bus turns around, I didn’t know it was that big…”

To CW’s credit, he DID NOT end that sentence with, “you ignorant stump-jumpin’ hillbilly.”

HH:  Oh.

CW:  You been working with them yay-hoos too long.

And he’s right, but they’ve already got me, so I might as well stick around!

PS:  Today I said someone set something on “far.”  But I meant to, to be funny.  I think.


Filed under Chuckweasel, GENIUS!, La Vida Loca, My Secret Shame(s)

30 responses to “I Might Be a Redneck…

  1. Hahahahha that is great. It reminds me of when I watch reality shows with people from the south (like teen mom). I try to say “Haa” to Boyfriend instead of “Hi.” I don’t think he gets it.


  2. Look how hoity-toitly HAA faluten you are that you don’t think a dollar is exPANsive.


  3. My daughter is a stickler for proper pronunciation. She is unwilling to give people credit for local dialects and pronunciations. I don’t think she will ever be able to travel and be happy.


  4. Dear Sweet Mama

    Which is why it is a good thing your friend the pancreas does not let you drink. You, like your DSM, begin to sound like you should be riding with Jeb Stuart or some other good ol boy – Great6 Uncle Devil Anse – and doing the rebel yell. Best to just leave them sleeping dogs lie.
    Of course, we was quality redneck.


  5. What do you mean, MIGHT? Hell girl, they done gots youse now. Maht as weel embrace eet. Shooo-ooot!


  6. I get the same look from Him when I say “Is SUPPER ready?” Like I’m expecting Roadkill souffle or somethin….


  7. New goal: Be called a “stump-jumpin’ hillybilly” before I die. I’d better hop to.


  8. I find the louder I talk, the thicker my Southern accent gets (or gits, if I’m yelling).


  9. Jo

    Texas redneck here, complete with accent. Normally, I’m understandable, unless I’m on the phone or talkin’ to ‘nother hillbilly, then all hayul breaks loose.
    Dayum, Misty, you gots to be a honorary redneck, just for your typing accent!
    That was a GREAT story, Hoody!
    (Good one, Leauxra, on your comment!)


  10. My mom lived in the South for almost five years and picked up an accent. That shit is contagious. I’ve never gone Southern, but I pick up British and Canadian from time to time. Except when I yell, then the only accent I give off is “incoherent.”

    I hear they get worse as you get older. Be prepared. Download a translation app or something.


  11. I can’t stand it when I hear Baltimore “A-ish” “O’s” infecting what used to be my indistinct midwestern accent. (The A-ish “O” is personified by pronouncing “Ocean” like “Ayshun.”) My brother and sister were here long before I moved here and when I heard them picking it up, I vowed that it wouldn’t happen to me. Yet here I am.


  12. You should start throwing in a Canadian accent randomly. Just say “eh” a lot – that’s pretty much it. Oh, and “Noh, dOWbt abOWt it”


  13. Pingback: Apparently I’m “It” | hoodyhoo

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