It’s that time of year again, Hooligans! Here’s what we’ve learned this jolly holiday season:
1. Eggies suck. One or 2 of them are GURAN-DAMN-TEED to open up in the pot, resulting in a kitchen that smells like hot ass and feet. The remaining ones will produce horribly-mutated nuclear holocaust eggs that even a cat won’t eat.
2. Once you’ve boiled eggs the old-fashioned way, if you discover you are mysteriously out of paprika (how does that happen? Where did it go?), you can substitute hot red pepper to make the eggs look pretty. GO EASY. Not everyone’s gums are made of asbestos.
3. Calpurnia Jean is a medium-sized cat with a large-sized behind and a small-sized meow (almost a “meh”). I now know this is the only word she knows, and it is Cat for “ham.” CJ will start saying this the instant she sees the ham and will not stop until you stuff her mouth with… well, ham.
4. Yes, she gave herself Hamnesia again.
5. Ti-Jacques loves the ham like he loves all people-food, Marceau is undecided as to whether he wants to EAT it but he does know he doesn’t want anyone else to HAVE it, and Mina… is an alien. I thought she had proved she was my actual daughter by behaving like a wayward teen, but THAT CAT WILL NOT EAT HAM. This proves that she’s adopted, because both her Mommies are ham-ficionados.
Hope you all had a Merry Merry — more later!