Cahn’t Get Theah from Heah

Not only am I getting older (shaddup), I seem to be changing genders AND accents.  I actually said these words today, with absolutely no irony (But the Stephen-King-Maine-accent is only a LEETLE exaggerated).

“Lahnguh it stays s’ wahm, wuss it’ll be when wintuh comes.”

WTF?  Since when am I the creepy dude from “Pet Semetary?”  I had managed to get used to being the one who can tell when “stahm’s a’comin'” by the ache in my craptastic joints, but seriously?  Now I’m a walking goddamn Farmer’s Almanac?  Great, this will make me EVEN MORE fun to be around.

Now onto something completely different… I knew it, I KNEW IT… Mina has managed to get herself knocked up.  I’m figuring Marceau got one in (no pun intended… okay, maybe a little) just under the wire before HE got fixed, and now she’s going to the doctor her ownself (’cause Hoody don’t need no shit from the ghost of Bob Barker OR a passel of inbred waterhead kittens!).  I’m kinda hoping she’s just fat… but I doubt it.

House full of fucking Lannisters, is what I’ve got.

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31 Comments

Filed under Kittehs!, La Vida Loca, My Secret Shame(s), Random Thoughts

31 responses to “Cahn’t Get Theah from Heah

  1. Dear Sweet Mama

    I told you – and you thought I was just a pervert for looking at her nipples. Well, I was lonely and she does have a lot of nipples – but I told you!!

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    • you were looking at her nipples long before she would have been showing — you’re still a pervert! AND you chased Marceau and Callie Jean to look at THEIR nipples for comparison… case closed.

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  2. Well, you do live in West By’gawd Virginny. Just saying. 🙂

    And, I knew you were a dork, but now you are also a creepy old man? You’re letting it all out this holiday season, yes? What did that pancreas DO to you, girl? Damn.

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  3. KITTENS? KITTENS?!?!!?

    I will be needing pictures.

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  4. The image of DSM sitting on the couch counting kitten nipples is going to be front of mind all day.

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  5. awww but it’s really kind of cute when you think about it… right….

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  6. The last cat I thought was pregnant turned out, on closer inspection, to be a boy.

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  7. Oh, man. That would exceed all crazy cat lady expectations you may have had for your life… Way to set the bar too high for the rest of us aspiring cat ladies!

    Ha!

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  8. I pick up accents from whereever I go. Especially from you crazy Americans. So far, I think N’awlins was the best.

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  9. Trollop!

    (The cat, not you.)

    And, I hate to say it, but it sort of sounds like you already have a home for wayward/gender-confused cats.

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  10. As I get older, I’m becoming a teenage boy. This should be a lot of fun as I already have a teenage boy. I went to a party recently where the women were sitting around discussing gruesome physical stuff, and I looked up to realize that all the men were huddled in the corner, grossed out. Guess it’s payback for middle school.

    I also have a mental picture of DSM counting kitten nipples. WTF? I was not aware this was a reliable method of determining cat pregnancy.

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    • DSM, having been a Mother-Baby nurse, now considers herself the authority on all things related to being knocked up. I don’t know if the nipple thing is true, but I’m willing to take her (perverted) word for it!

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  11. I pick up southern accents. No idea why, but I suspect I;m channeling a previous life as a southern belle.

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  12. Aren’t cats really really noisy when they do it? You must have been away at the time.

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  13. Jo

    I wanna be in charge of the kittehs…the baby ones.

    and I have that frickin’ accent stuck in my head now like some kind of horror story….

    Like

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