Now, I know no one really gives a crap about what other people dream, but I’ve had this one twice now and I just have to share ’cause it’s so fucking weird.
I dreamed that Chuckweasel and I raised goats.
Not like farm goats, like mountain goats. And they lived in the backyard on this big ol’ pile of concrete that I guess was supposed to be their “mountain.” And every morning, I would go out back and yell, “Hey, you goats! Come get breakfast!” And they would all come trip-trapping down the concrete mountain for goat chow.
One of the goats also could stand on his head (when I told Chuckweasel about this, he said, “Oh, so they’re trick goats?” And I replied, “No, he’s the only one… and he taught it to himself.”) But sometimes he would topple over and fall, and I was always worrying he’d get hurt. One time he fell forward onto his belly and his little goat balls got all swollen and I had to take him to the vet to be checked out (he was fine, he just had to have an ice pack). And then I woke up.
So there you have it — goats, fake mountains, and swollen goat testicles. Analyze this!
hoodyhoo 
Hmmm – have you seen goat’s eyes? They are obviously minions of Satan. A fake mountain? Has someone put an obstacle in your way or are you putting off doing something for a “fake” reason? Testicles? That’s always got to be something about your dad. Sorry. By the way – I have been dreaming about goats as well, not mountain but farm – hmmm, now that is probably significant as well that you have mountain goats and a fake mountain and I do not but I don’t know how. Too early for me to think this hard. Love, your dream advisor – DSM
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Do mountain goats also have the Satan eyes? Dammit. And the mountain was not so much an obstacle as it was an integral piece of the mountain-goat-farming process… so maybe I need to build something? Maybe this means I should put up the Christmas tree…
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Less spicy food before bedtime, Missy.
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I did eat refried beans…
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You might want to ease off a bit on those bedtime drugs….
although, there is money to be had in goats, from what I understand.
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THAT’S THE THING! I refuse to take any of those sleeping drugs because they make you steal tractors in your sleep! (Warning: Dear Sweet Mama takes that Ambien).
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I looked it up in the online dream dictionary. Just for you.
Ahem. “To see a goat in your dream, represents your lack of judgment and your gullibility. Alternatively, goats are symbolic of sexuality, sexual desire, and lechery.”
I just threw out the rest of the dream… I’m guessing the goats are the important part.
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What!? Goats represent something sexual? That NEVER happens in dream interpretation. Mountain is clearly a boob, and the goat that can stand on his own head is obviously some sort of sexual position. I’m not sure what the balls could represent.
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the mountain is a boob… YOU DIDN’T BREASTFEED ME LONG ENOUGH, DSM! And it’s a FAKE mountain, so maybe I need fake boobs…
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Better watch that head-standing one… He’ll be the one to lead the Goat Revolution. Motto: “Baa this, Emmer-Effer…”
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great, now I’m terrified of the head-standing ball-hurting goat in my dream!
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You need to get past this before you reproduce. No one wants to carpool with the Mom that is constantly reminding little Jackie to ‘watch your testicles!’ on the playground.
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you say that like “Watch your testicles!” isn’t THE BEST advice…
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I don’t think it’s odd at all. Based on your and DSM’s dreams, y’all are obviously supposed to create a large commune where you raise goats as one big happy family. Duh.
Oh, and circus goats, obviously.
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the problem is, both of us are freaked out by their Satan-eyes! You’re my sister, you have to come and be the Goat Whisperer!
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I love that you put “Loo Hoo” in your name, Misty.
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Misty has been officially adopted into the Hoo Clan by the approval of myself and Dear Sweet Mama. But as that creepy little lady in “Poltergeist” said, “Aaaaaall are welcome.”
Great, now I’m freaked out.
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Yes, and I figured I’d add the Loo because tis the season. Just felt all fa la la to me, ya know? 🙂
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I tell The Boy about my dreams all the time because he can’t remember his and I feel bad for him. He DOES dream; I know because I’ve seen him do it – just like the cats with his paws moving and his whiskers twitching.
I think your dream means you need to go to the zoo in Buffalo, NY, to see the mountain goats.
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Chuckweasel does that dream-twitching, too — and sometimes he makes very frustrated noises and flails his arms. There’s a reason he sleeps on the couch…
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How do you take a goat to the vet? Do you have a truck, or does he sit quietly in the back seat of your car with the seatbelt fastened?
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Neither — I had a truck in the dream, but he was so well behaved he sat in the passenger seat on a towel (he needed the padding for his painful balls).
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Tina, you fat lard! Eat your ham!
Wait, you said goats, not llamas. Well, at least they won’t spit at you. I wonder what the kittehs would think about a backyard full of goats!
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I’m hoping the next dream will involve kittehs riding the goats! And the voice I used to call the goats to breakfast was EXACTLY like that — “Hey, you goats!”
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I actually did raise goats as a kid (pun!), but my goats weren’t as talented. There was always a “but” (pun!) to what they could do. We hoped they would eat all the leaves in the fall–but they only ate the yellow ones. We tried to get one to pull a cart–but we figured out that was suicide (for us, not the goat). And we did have a billy goat (you sort of need them when you’re a breeder), but he was such a lech we had to keep him on the other side of the farm, far away from all the lady goats.
So, there you go.
Also, goats like popcorn and Terminator movies.
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I have also heard that male goats have a very distinctive… shall we say… aroma… I did not notice this in the dream, but the windows of the truck WERE down…
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Ho. Ly. Shit! I dreamed about owning goats alst night too? Are we forming a commune or some shit like that?
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That’s gotta be it! THIS is how we’ll all survive the ‘Pocalypse!
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I tend to have dreams, especially bad dreams, when I eat right before bed.
My analysis is that you probably ate a piece of goat right before bed.
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now, where would I have gotten goat? The Jamaican restaurant is in the next town over!
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I’m going to say that you have some unresolved potty training issues.
What?! Worked for Freud…
Pearl
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Breast-feeding, potty-training — either way, I can blame all this on DSM!
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I once wrote a blog post entitled “If dreams are a window to ones soul , I’m in big trouble!” and it’s true too. The fucked up shit my brain has come up with (think horror movies) is downright scary.
I’d give anything to have a goat dream like yours! LOL Though I have to admit that I do find it interesting that you dreamed about your goats swollen testicles. I think it means you’re craving goat cheese. Just a thought…
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Goat Cheese would be EXCELLENT! And I’ll take the weird-shit dreams over the terrifying ones you can’t wake up from any day!
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I have never dreamed about goats. I once dreamed about rollerskating with my best friend’s husband, and we tried to kiss but couldn’t do it because we felt too guilty. My hand to God, I was woken up by the guilt.
If Leauxra is right, my subconscious is one huge cockblocker.
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OHMAHGAWD, you’re such a good little Do-Bee you can’t even dream-cheat! Your husband should have woken you up with flowers and jewelry!
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I have never had a dream that even remotely involved sex that did NOT have either my mom or my wife walk in. EVER.
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This from the man who watches Christmas-themed midget porn…
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Hoody, I do think that dreaming about goats means that you have been possessed by Satan.
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A) You’re just now noticing? and B) You say that like it’s a bad thing…
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I thought only I dreamt of goats.
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Nope, there’s a lot of us here…
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“Last night I dreamed of Manderley again. And goats.”
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And THIS is exactly why I love my Hooligans! Not only are we smart-ASSES, we are also just plain SMART!
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Sounds like a particularly baaaaaahd dream to me.
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Really? You just HAAAAAAAAD to go there, didn’t you?
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