Got Goats?

Now, I know no one really gives a crap about what other people dream, but I’ve had this one twice now and I just have to share ’cause it’s so fucking weird.

I dreamed that Chuckweasel and I raised goats.

Not like farm goats, like mountain goats.  And they lived in the backyard on this big ol’ pile of concrete that I guess was supposed to be their “mountain.”  And every morning, I would go out back and yell, “Hey, you goats!  Come get breakfast!”  And they would all come trip-trapping down the concrete mountain for goat chow.

One of the goats also could stand on his head (when I told Chuckweasel about this, he said, “Oh, so they’re trick goats?”  And I replied, “No, he’s the only one… and he taught it to himself.”)  But sometimes he would topple over and fall, and I was always worrying he’d get hurt.  One time he fell forward onto his belly and his little goat balls got all swollen and I had to take him to the vet to be checked out (he was fine, he just had to have an ice pack).  And then I woke up.

So there you have it — goats, fake mountains, and swollen goat testicles.  Analyze this!

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46 Comments

Filed under Chuckweasel, I'm Confused, La Vida Loca, The Cranial Toilet, WTF???

46 responses to “Got Goats?

  1. Dear Sweet Mama

    Hmmm – have you seen goat’s eyes? They are obviously minions of Satan. A fake mountain? Has someone put an obstacle in your way or are you putting off doing something for a “fake” reason? Testicles? That’s always got to be something about your dad. Sorry. By the way – I have been dreaming about goats as well, not mountain but farm – hmmm, now that is probably significant as well that you have mountain goats and a fake mountain and I do not but I don’t know how. Too early for me to think this hard. Love, your dream advisor – DSM

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    • Do mountain goats also have the Satan eyes? Dammit. And the mountain was not so much an obstacle as it was an integral piece of the mountain-goat-farming process… so maybe I need to build something? Maybe this means I should put up the Christmas tree…

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  2. Lizzybeth

    Less spicy food before bedtime, Missy.

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  3. Jo

    You might want to ease off a bit on those bedtime drugs….

    although, there is money to be had in goats, from what I understand.

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  4. I looked it up in the online dream dictionary. Just for you.

    Ahem. “To see a goat in your dream, represents your lack of judgment and your gullibility. Alternatively, goats are symbolic of sexuality, sexual desire, and lechery.”

    I just threw out the rest of the dream… I’m guessing the goats are the important part.

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  5. Better watch that head-standing one… He’ll be the one to lead the Goat Revolution. Motto: “Baa this, Emmer-Effer…”

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  6. You need to get past this before you reproduce. No one wants to carpool with the Mom that is constantly reminding little Jackie to ‘watch your testicles!’ on the playground.

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  7. I don’t think it’s odd at all. Based on your and DSM’s dreams, y’all are obviously supposed to create a large commune where you raise goats as one big happy family. Duh.

    Oh, and circus goats, obviously.

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  8. I tell The Boy about my dreams all the time because he can’t remember his and I feel bad for him. He DOES dream; I know because I’ve seen him do it – just like the cats with his paws moving and his whiskers twitching.

    I think your dream means you need to go to the zoo in Buffalo, NY, to see the mountain goats.

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  9. How do you take a goat to the vet? Do you have a truck, or does he sit quietly in the back seat of your car with the seatbelt fastened?

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  10. Tina, you fat lard! Eat your ham!

    Wait, you said goats, not llamas. Well, at least they won’t spit at you. I wonder what the kittehs would think about a backyard full of goats!

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  11. I actually did raise goats as a kid (pun!), but my goats weren’t as talented. There was always a “but” (pun!) to what they could do. We hoped they would eat all the leaves in the fall–but they only ate the yellow ones. We tried to get one to pull a cart–but we figured out that was suicide (for us, not the goat). And we did have a billy goat (you sort of need them when you’re a breeder), but he was such a lech we had to keep him on the other side of the farm, far away from all the lady goats.

    So, there you go.

    Also, goats like popcorn and Terminator movies.

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  12. Jen

    Ho. Ly. Shit! I dreamed about owning goats alst night too? Are we forming a commune or some shit like that?

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  13. I tend to have dreams, especially bad dreams, when I eat right before bed.

    My analysis is that you probably ate a piece of goat right before bed.

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  14. I’m going to say that you have some unresolved potty training issues.

    What?! Worked for Freud…

    Pearl

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  15. I once wrote a blog post entitled “If dreams are a window to ones soul , I’m in big trouble!” and it’s true too. The fucked up shit my brain has come up with (think horror movies) is downright scary.

    I’d give anything to have a goat dream like yours! LOL Though I have to admit that I do find it interesting that you dreamed about your goats swollen testicles. I think it means you’re craving goat cheese. Just a thought…

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  16. I have never dreamed about goats. I once dreamed about rollerskating with my best friend’s husband, and we tried to kiss but couldn’t do it because we felt too guilty. My hand to God, I was woken up by the guilt.

    If Leauxra is right, my subconscious is one huge cockblocker.

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  17. Hoody, I do think that dreaming about goats means that you have been possessed by Satan.

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  18. I thought only I dreamt of goats.

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  19. “Last night I dreamed of Manderley again. And goats.”

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  20. Sounds like a particularly baaaaaahd dream to me.

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