Lookie There!

The Versatile Blogger Award!

You see what that is?  That’s my very very first blogger award from one of my very favorite bloggy babes, Tazer Warrior Princess!  What a great “Get Well Soon!” present!

So first (because I’m a terrible attention-whore), let’s see what the Heir Apparent had to say about ol’ Hoody:

“Hoody, of Hoodyhoo, is my sister from another mister. I swear we need to get the fuck out of each other’s heads. Her tales of Chuckweasel, Dear Sweet Mama, and the randimosities of life make me laugh every stinking time. Without rhyme or reason, Hoody delivers a zinger every time she deigns to post for us. For example, a line from her last post that had me howling: “All religions, everywhere, come down to one single Commandment: DON’T BE A DICK

Visit and see, and I dare you to tell me she’s not hilarious!”

Gosh, I don’t know what to say, I’m actually getting a little choked up here!  But the rules say I HAVE to say something — here they are:

Once awarded, the recipient must a) compose a short dedication to the person who awarded them the award, b) write a list for their readers detailing things about themselves their readers don’t know, and then c) pass the love forward to five.

Okay, first things first — Tazer is one of the funniest motherfuckers I know, in addition to being a serious menace with a spork!  She’s the daughter I never had the patience to raise, that’s why she’s the official Heir Apparent of Hoody’s Hooligans.

Number 2:  Hmmm… I don’t really keep a lot of secrets from you folks, but let’s see… Okay.  I have weird little holes in the side of my ears (like where the top of your ear connects to your head?) that seem to serve no purpose whatsover.  Dear Sweet Mama says they’re usually the sign of a terrible birth defect that kills you when you’re a baby, but so far as I know, I ain’t kilt.  My Poor Ol’ Dad has the same ears, and he ain’t been kilt for longer than I ain’t been kilt.  So I think we’re cool.

Also, I have a third nipple.  Yes, go get the kindling and a duck.

Now, onto the sharing the love part.  I can’t possibly name just 5 of y’all to honor on here, so we’re gonna shake it up a bit.  If you’re in the “Voices in My Head” list or if you comment fairly regularly, answer question #2 in the comments.  If you’ve made it to the Royal Court, you also have to give your job description and tell us all why you’re good at it (Court nobility WITHOUT a job title must present one for my approval).

Love and kisses, bitches!


PS — Any “Voices” looking to move up to the Court can present their qualifications in the comments… and any commenters and/or lurkers looking to become “Voices” can do the same!  It’s THUNDERDOME, y’all!



Filed under Aw, I Rule You, The Royal Court, Youse Guys

35 responses to “Lookie There!

  1. Congrats- you know you can’t go wrong following ‘Wheaton’s Law’!


  2. It’s so cool — I didn’t even know Wil Wheaton WAS a practicing dickologist until someone pointed it out — YOU ROCK, WESLEY!


  3. I have 3 nipples, too. I use them all to feed my bats.


  4. I’m debating whether to admit to also having three nipples. I’m worried once I put it out there, it will be in the lead sentence of my obituary or something. And then my mom will pair it with a picture of me in Jr. High with big early 90’s bangs, sitting on a stool in front of for-no-reason balloons. Yeah, I think I’ll just keep it to myself.

    Congrats on your award!


  5. That’s me! I’m in the royal court! The problem with bloggers is that we don’t really hold things back…how am I supposed to come up with a secret? Other than the secret that I can’t tell anyone for another week.

    Okay, here it is: Every time I go to the bathroom I wonder if I’m actually awake or if I’m dreaming and, in that case, about to wet the bed.

    I’m so glad to have you back with us.


  6. I’m a voice! I’m a voice! A crazy voice, but a voice nonetheless. Also, I don’t really understand what a third nipple is. Please explain.


  7. Shit, I don’t think I have a job title. Can I be the Lord High Executioner? Er… “Lady”… you know what I mean. Shit, I’m the jester, aren’t I. You’re all laughing at me, aren’t you?

    Something no one knows about me: As an adult, I am honest to a fault. I will tell you those jeans make your thighs look like sausage links, I will NOT be able to keep a secret, so don’t try, and I will return the extra penny that spit out in the automatic change dispenser at the grocery store. I think I am making up for being a pathological liar as a child. That, or I finally figured out how bad I am at it.


    • I think, since you keep doing all this BS exercise crap, that I will make you the Minister of Fitness. Then you can go around slapping the chicken wings out of fat people’s mouths and saying, “Eat a salad, lunchbox.”


  8. I haven’t been following you very long, but if I promise to comment regularly, can I be a voice? I’d rather be a voice in your head than a voice in mine. I just wrote the word “voice” too much. Sorry.

    Sometimes I dream entirely in green.


  9. Hey girl hey!

    You earned it you crazy fucker.
    Glad you’re feeling well enough to post again. Much love from this corner of the universe. Doggy kisses n shit.


  10. Jo

    Congrats on your well-deserved award, and Happy Thanksgiving!


  11. Jen

    1) I was a professional NBA dancer for 2 years (don’t judge)
    2) I can perform Cee Lo’s “Fuck You”in sign language
    3) I dated Steve from “Blues Clues” for about 6 months

    I deserve to be in the Royal Court because of the aforementioned three badass things about my dipshit self, because Misty, Tazer, Carrie, and Paula (the Weez) are my sister wives, and because Wags is my pimp.

    I am so glad you’re back in the saddle, sistah! Giddyup!


  12. Aw geez, I’m in the Royal Court, ain’t I? I think my job title is Royal Seamstress, closely followed by Court Advisor (the person who gives advice that nobody listens to) and Assistant Cat Wrangler.

    A secret nobody knows about me? I have a morbid fascination with mail order brides, disfigured people, and post-apocalyptic scenarios. Someday I will write a romance that involves all these things. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll hurl….


  13. As your press secretary, I’d put a positive spin on that nubbin of yours. More than two nipples? How cat-like!


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