How’s the Wife & Kids, Pt. 3

Today we bring you the final installment of our exclusive investigative report on the furry members of the Hoo Household… with a question near and dear to this reporter’s heart:

What’s your favorite food?

Callie Jean:  Much like my life-partner, Hoody, I am a big fan of the gravy food group.  I always make sure to finish all my gravy before I eat the catfood chunks… that’s just proper etiquette.  Being the Queen, I am also entitled to a share of whatever the wife is eating, especially barbecued ribs.  Also, if I’m not mistaken, there’s a ham-related holiday coming up…

Marceau:  I pretty much eat what I’m given and stay out of the dry food as much as possible — snacking would ruin my physique!  I do enjoy a cocktail when Mommy sets her glass down… vodka and cranberry juice is TO DIE FOR.

Mina:  The best food would be something I could eat while perched on Mommy’s head, but she won’t go for that.  Actually, I don’t eat very much at all, considering I’m just a tiny little thing I have been known to sample Mommy’s drinks, though — lemonade is my favorite.

Ti-Jacques:  I’m a growing boy, so eat anything I can get, whenever and however I can get it!  I am extremely pissed off that Mommy won’t let me in the refrigerator.  I KNOW that’s where the food is!

Still want more?  Add your questions in the comments and I’ll submit them to the kittehs’ media team!  (They demanded approval on all questions — divas!)



Filed under Calpurnia Jean, Kittehs!, La Vida Loca

27 responses to “How’s the Wife & Kids, Pt. 3

  1. Esme always wants in the fridge, too. One time she hopped up in it, and I shut her in it for a minute. She hasn’t been in it since.


  2. Do any of your cats drink alcohol? For some reason, I’ve never thought to try with mine.

    That would be a whole product line, totally untapped, with mongo potential, wouldn’t it?

    Alcohol for pets. Beef schnapps and tuna vermouth. People would buy that. They have fricking everything for pets now.


    • Marceau likes to sneak him some liquor drink, but I try to make him stop ’cause I’m not quite sure that’s good for cats! I did once have a dachshund who LOOOOOVED a bowl of beer, but you had to watch him, ’cause he was a surly drunk.


      • Monkey’s favorite thing in the world is mead. I can sit down with a glass of mead and 3/4 of it will go to Monkey. Must be offered as a lickable off the tip of my finger, though. She won’t tolerate the idea of not being hand-fed (hand-drunk?). She’s a pleasant drunk, and rarely orders things off infomercials.


  3. I think Marceau would be a hysterical drunk. I think his true inner diva would come flying out. Hide yo make up, hide yo heels!!!

    Ask them what their fascination is with the toilet and/or bathroom?


    • as it is, he gets so affronted when I try to make him STOP drinking my drink, it’s like a tiny furry Bette Davis up in my face! And the bathroom seems to be a recurring theme with cats — maybe because they don’t understand what it’s for!


  4. My mother’s cat likes to lick off the gravy. That’s it. She doesn’t eat solid food.

    Poco would take a swig of your beer if you weren’t watching. It was how she initiated all my boyfriends/dates.

    I can’t figure out a single clever question. And I wouldn’t dare wasted the kittehs time with something less than clever.


    • I think Callie Jean would PREFER that her food be all gravy, but she also likes to eat, so she grudgingly accepts the chunks! She is NOT happy with the pate-style food, though.


  5. Hoody, you’re kind of making me re-think this whole “I’ll never have a cat again” thing I’ve had going on for years. And I’m not sure I like it.


  6. Jen

    I so ❤ that hour cat likes vodka. Mine has a particular penchant for Noxema cleanser. Makes her Bat. Shit. Crazy!


  7. Checkers doesn’t even know the fridge exists. Her favorite food is anything that’s not kibbles. Like the tuna I’m eating.


  8. My two are bored to death by their healthy dry food. They get a half a can each of Friskies at night, but Crystal is the alpha girl — do cats have alphas? Well, anyway, C. will eat some of hers then stalk off so Lila can come down and nibble a bit on her side of the dual bowl. I strongly suspect C. eats the rest overnight, as she has a decidedly “fluffier” physique than L. And by fluffier, I mean there’s serious muscle on that cat and she looks like she can kick the shit out of you.

    The only time they show interest in our food is with either chicken or ham, and they’re pretty easily discouraged by a firm “NO!” Lila will drink your water and steal the straw, however.


    • Callie Jean is the “fluffy” one in our household… she does the mom thing of cleaning everybody’s plate after they’re done. Of course, now that Ti-Jacques has hit a growth spurt, there’s not much leftover to be had! And straws are never safe — just accept that one drink will require 3 or 4 before you’re done.


  9. Duncan

    Here’s a question for the kitties: Do you see ghosts?


    • I keep asking them that, but they won’t say! It does start to freak me out when ALL FOUR start staring at the same place and I can’t see anything… I have been known to crawl around on the floor looking for some kind of SOMETHING they could be looking at!


  10. Mine likes Chik-fil-a so much, I have to actually shut him in another room. And, when I don’t get around to it, I have to use him as a napkin to buy some time while he licks off the remnants from himself.


    • Oh, yeah, fried chicken is automatic community property! And as we learned yesterday, so are McDonald’s cheeseburgers! One of my former cats used to love that Pub Cheese spread so much you could only eat it if you locked yourself in the bathroom!


  11. Would they form a cat gang and if they would, what would be their gang sign? Also, would they wear colorful bandanas?


  12. Dear Sweet Mama

    Msrceau would SO wear a bandana – it is a kind of ascot. Ti-Jacques would manage to strangle himself, Mina would strangle someone else, and poor Callie Jean would drape it over her eyes to try to get some rest from that horde she knows is not her own.


    • but I’d probably have to tie the ascot for Marceau — no thumbs, right? And I’d do it wrong, and he’d be a bitch about it… And Mina might use hers as some kind of reverse-Rapunzel deal to climb up to Cat Jesus!


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