Because that’s the first letter of the word I’ve been using A LOT the past 2 days! (I think you know which one). Here’s the Mike Sorrentino:
I come into the office yesterday at Oh-Dark-30 to begin my usual day… only to find that the IT Terrorist has struck again. The main computer — yes, the one that PUTS ME ON THE RADIO — has been completely wiped clean. No shortcuts, no folders, nothing. It was as if it was a whole new computer… but that would be ridiculous!
Turns out, they had just fucked up the desktop somehow — I was able to search for the programs, etc and essentially “rebuild” the whole damn thing. Have I mentioned I’m not techie? Needless to say, I was filled with white-hot rage… so much so that my DJ-yayhoos actually made mention of it ON THE AIR (they said they were scared to come in the newsroom… which is probably good!)
So I had everything MOSTLY fixed… until today. That’s when I discovered that — as usual — the IT Terrorist has tried to fix something that wasn’t broken and BROKEN A BUNCH OF OTHER SHIT IN THE PROCESS. I. Hate. Him.
I swear, I’mma gonna go down to the liquor store and find the nastiest, grodiest hobo I can find, then I’m gonna have him spit in a Ziploc bag. Then I’m gonna rub that hobo loogie all over the computers so if those fuckers touch them again, they’ll get hobo cooties. I just have to learn to type in gloves.