I Rest My Case

As I have mentioned before, Chuckweasel’s education is sorely lacking… for instance, I had to TEACH him, yes TEACH him how to mix a drink, unfortunately over the phone.  So when I told him to put “2 fingers” of whiskey in the cup, he said, “Well, then there’s no room for the Coke!”  Yes, he had put his fingers in the cup LONGWAYS.  It was a damn good drink, though…

But now, the evidence is clear — Chuckweasel may have been raised by wolves.

CHUCKWEASEL

HAS NEVER

SEEN

“THE THING”

Which I was unaware of (and didn’t really think was POSSIBLE) until the following phone conversation occurred:

HH:  I may be torqued off about the new “Thing.”

CW:  (driving, not paying attention, humoring-Hoody voice)Why’s that?

HH:  THERE’S WOMEN IN IT!

CW:  In what?

HH:  In the Antarctic Ice Exploration thingie!  There’s WOMEN!  There wouldn’t be WOMEN!

CW:  I have no idea what you’re talking about.

HH:  You know!  “The Thing!”  Like the Kurt Russell “Thing!”

CW:  Oh… never saw it.

Now imagine poor Chuckweasel’s end of the conversation.  He thinks his crazy girlfriend called him up to bitch about women and Kurt Russell’s thing.  He’s a SAINT, I tell ya!

 

 

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36 Comments

Filed under At the Movies, Chuckweasel, I'm Confused, La Vida Loca, Twu Wuuv, WTF???

36 responses to “I Rest My Case

  1. I’ve never seen it either…but I do know how to mix some kick ass drinks, so hopefully that makes up for it.

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  2. SERIOUSLY? Neither version? Maybe I’M the one with the weird childhood…

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  3. Jen

    Pfft! Paula didn’t know who Nathan Fillion was either, so. . .you know. . . there’s that. I’m surprised by the movie but not surprised by the drink mixing. Honestly, if you’re on the phone with a guy telling him to “put two gingers in” he’s bound to get distracted.

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  4. Rewind a few years, and I’d take a peek at Kurt Russell’s “thing”… like whatever year Overboard was. Overalls and all. Meow.

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  5. I’ve never seen it either. Please don’t hate me.

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  6. As soon as he said “Oh…never saw it” I would have slammed on the brakes and demand he get out of my car.

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  7. I am *constantly* doing this with Boyfriend. He is more of a drama/documentary/artsy indie film guy, and I am an sci-fi horror action EXPLOSIONS kinda movie watcher (I recently made him sit through Doom, the movie. The one based on the video game. Yes, I did).

    We have finally found a meeting in watching Doctor Who and Star Trek (the original series).

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    • Chuckweasel will WATCH all the weird shit I like, he just doesn’t actively seek it out on his own. Like he wouldn’t have seen “The Walking Dead” if I hadn’t made him sit through a marathon.

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  8. What ever happened to a decent education? Hubby couldn’t even short-sheet a bed.

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  9. Duncan

    I’ve never seen The Thing, either. Or The Godfather. Or Star Wars. Yes, I exist.

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  10. The Kurt Russell version has the best acting performance by a dog that I’ve seen in any movie. Very minor spoiler: there’s a scene when the Thing, in the form of a dog, is introduced to a bunch of other dogs. The dog playing the Thing does a fantastic job of looking like something that’s not a dog trying to act casual and convince the other dogs it’s one of them. If I see the remake, my entire opinion of the movie will hinge on how it handles that one scene.

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  11. I like his drink proportions… my method is to fill the glass with ice, fill the rest with bourbon, then whisper “water” over the top.

    Funny, I thought the same thing about putting girls in The Thing. I immediately thought that there’s a movie exec somewhere that said, “Geez, we gotta put some chicks in it, otherwise it’s just a frozen sausage fest.”

    I loved that movie… one of the all time great creepy/paranoid/claustrophobic horror movies. Best is how all the effects were done physically, without CGI. No one that’s ever seen the “Crab-head” scene will ever forget it. I wonder what kind of psychedelics John Carpenter was on when he came up with THAT…

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    • I am a grown-ass woman and that scene STILL gives me nightmares… and I really wish they wouldn’t throw chicks into movies where chicks don’t belong! We’re all right with it, really!

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  12. Wow, that’s funny. Just the other day I was telling my husband that I need to see The Thing again because I’ve only seen it once. I need to see the original, too. It’s the reason for the season.

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    • I haven’t seen the original in AGES, but the Kurt Russell one seems to be on late-night TV all the time. And I’m officially declaring the period from now until Christmas as “Thing season.” Get your Thing shopping done early!

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  13. I’ve never seen The Thing but I think I might want to see the new one, only because the guy who plays Deeks in NCIS LA is in it, and I want to be able to say in my head, “Hey! It’s Deeks!” every time he shows up on the screen.

    They need to have a chick in those movies so there can be a gratuitous sex scene somewhere. I think it’s probably in the writer contract.

    I know how to mix drinks, but I use actual measuring implements to do it which I think makes me Automatic Uncool. Except when I make my White Russians, then it’s massive tumbler, 4 ice cubes, fill half the glass with Kahlua and a splash of vodka, fill the rest with milk. Drink slowly but steadily through a straw.

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  14. I’ve never seen The Thing, either.

    The Boy hasn’t seen a lot of movies. Like the Shawshank Redemption. Who hasn’t seen the Shawshank Redemption?!? And worse than that…he won’t watch it. I’ve asked. I’ve watched it while he was IN THE ROOM. All he had to do was put down his book to see one of the best movies ever made.

    He also doesn’t know any actors. Weird, to me, because I pick up on repeat actors in TV commercials (chick on e-surance, metamucil and those gourmet doggie treats – yes?) so of course I know actors that get credits at the end of their performance.

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  15. You MUST see both prior versions of The Thing before the new one comes out. I have spoken.
    And I can’t STAND those really popular commercial actors who are in everything… or when someone who USED to have a real show does a commercial. Like I don’t wanna talk about migraines with Zoe Bartlett from “The West Wing.”

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    • RIGHT? The migraine commercial drives me nuts. Is she supposed to be a celebrity endorsing it? Is she just that in need of work?

      AND I believe that if you are the spokesperson – like the sun for Jimmy Dean – you and your wife may NOT build your own website using a manual.

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      • I don’t think it’s supposed to be a celebrity endorsement — I think she’s playing a fictional character who has migraines. And is really whiny and irritating. That commercial is doubly annoying for me because a) it’s pretty annoying and b) I liked Zoe Bartlett, and I just can’t believe this whiny migraine lady is the same person.

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        • I know, I’m like… “Does she have migraines from the stress of her dad being President?” Then I remember she’s not REALLY Zoe Bartlett, and I feel dumb(er). And OHMAHGAWD! I had been wondering where I had seen that website guy!

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