From the Mouths of Babes…

No, not like the chicks on Baywatch, like actual children.  Normally I’m not a fan of children as a species, but the 2 kids at the wedding this weekend were FABULOUS. 

First, they were setting up vials of sand (for this really cool part of the ceremony where the bride and the groom and her daughter and his son all mixed their sand together to symbolize the blending of their lives) and the son asks his soon-to-be stepsister:  “Are we gonna keep the sand afterwards?”  And this little Hoody-in-Training says, “No, we’re gonna give it to some Canadians.”

I like to died.

Then a little later, he asked her if she had bought her dress (I’m assuming because his tux was rented, so he thought her outfit might be as well) and she said, “No, I stole it.  I went to David’s Bridal and I stole it.”  That boy’s gonna have to sharpen up right smart to keep up with her!

But he DID turn out to be an AMAZING dancer — how can an I’d say 8 or 9 year old kid know the Worm AND all the moves from “Thriller?”  I was alive when those came out, and I sure as hell can’t do ’em!  And it’s a case of never could do it, not a case of being too old and decrepit, so don’tchoo bitches even start.




Filed under Chuckweasel, He's the DJ I'm the Rapper, La Vida Loca

24 responses to “From the Mouths of Babes…

  1. It is very rare that I find a child even the least bit amusing. She, on the other hand, appears to be on the brink of being awesome.


  2. I know, she ALMOST convinced me to breed… then my good friend Crown-and-Coke reminded me why Hoody don’t play dat.


  3. There must be something about little boys and weddings because my son turns into a dancing fool at receptions. That little girl gives me hope for the future of America’s youth.


    • I asked Chuckweasel why little boys are dancin’ machines but grown-ass men refuse to dance… he says it’s because their families and everyone laughs at them dancing when they’re little and they get a complex about it… so basically, it’s our own damn fault.


  4. A tiny Dorothy Parker to be. Got to love it. Get sarcastic nieces- they are so much easier on your carpets than having your own spawn….


  5. We need to fix her up with the 3 year old who lives next door to my mom. He has run of their house, and walked in one day hollering for my mom. I told him she was in the bathroom and he parked his tiny ass out in the hall and said he’d wait. When my mom came out, he jumped to his feet and said “Well? Well? Did you pee, or did you poop?”
    A future researcher, I’m thinking. Or working in government.


  6. Poor Canada and their lack of sand. We really should have a telethon. Jerry Lewis can host, since they kicked him off the MDA one, and homeskillet can dance to make monies for the sandless Canucks. If that doesn’t work, girlfriend can sell her David’s Bridal dresses on the black market.


  7. That sounds like it is gonna be an awesomely mixed family. The parents must be rad for that girl to have such a quick wit and for the boy to be so damn skilled in those dance moves. I want to be invited over for Christmas.


  8. We took Oldest and Middlest to a wedding like that this summer. They did the sand ceremony and everything (except both the kids were his). There was no snark that I observed, but everybody busted a move on the dance floor and all 4 kids were fabulous. What is that about? Must be something in the sparkling cider at receptions.

    Do Canadians really miss the lack of sand? I thought all of the Canadian beach bums just moved to Hollywood.


  9. Jen

    You should see my son J doing the Running Man. Magical. That being said, kids are fucking annoying. I love mine to death, but spend a great deal of time pondering why humans never got the memo about eating their young.


    • Chuckweasel and I are considering freezing some eggs, then waiting until we’re right about to die and then having a kid. Then we’d get the “you had a kid” credit, but we wouldn’t have to RAISE it.


  10. A child that knows the dance moves to Thriller warms my cold, dead heart. Unless he learned it from the Bootylicious video, then, no.


  11. I see kids like that, that make me want to breed. Heh heh – I just typed bread…maybe my subconscious is trying to tell me something. Like even children are good if wrapped in bacon and fried on a stick.

    We went to Greek Fest last week in time to see the little kids dance. Sooo cute. And once again The Boy had to sit through me lamenting that my great grandfather told me I was too pasty to PowWow. Irish genes, they’re powerful yo.


    • oooooh, Greek Fest! I loves me some Greek food (but word of advice, never make pastitsio from scratch, it takes HOURS) And the last time I went to a Pow Wow down here in WBGV, some if the “tribal dancers” were whiter than Chuckweasel! And that’s FUCKING. WHITE.


      • I am kind of sure the dancers would have been okay with me participating. Actually, so would my grandpa, probably – though I had white blonde hair, big blue eyes and translucent skin (the only Blackfoot trait I got is that I don’t sunburn). I think he just didn’t want to take me to another freakin’ powwow. There are a couple, here in ol’ Wyo.


      • Oh, and there’s a better chance of me building an ark than cooking pretty much anything from scratch. Do I look crazy to you?


  12. ZING!!!!!!!

    Hot damn I love kids when I can observe them being “them” from afar. Preferably with a drink in hand as I laugh my ass off.


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