I admit, I thought about doing a 9/11 post (hell, I was working in TV news then, yeah, I fucking REMEMBER). But then I thought, “Hoody, writing that post will make you sad, and you are already barely out of a bleak depression. And reading that post will make your readers sad, and them bitches sure don’t need that. And you haven’t even read the story Poor Ol’ Dad got published in that titty magazine, ’cause he said not to read it until you were in a good head space, so what are you even THINKING?”
So instead, some random bits, including the reason Chuckweasel and I are going to Hell.
But first — our IT Dumbass (yes, the guy who, according to office rumor, cannot even “fix” a sandwich) has put up what I’m sure is a very funny cartoon on his door — it’s a man reading a sign which I’m sure is amusing. The problem — the cartoon was in color, and it printed in black and white… so the sign is completely black and you can’t read it. WOULDN’T YOU THINK THE COMPUTER GUY WOULD HAVE RECOGNIZED THIS AS A PROBLEM??? But this is the same guy who, when asked to clean out the newsroom hard drive, actually took the back off and BLEW in it.
As to the reason Chuckweasel and I are going to Hell is this: We actually had an entire conversation about how it would be fun to hang out with Jesus ’cause he can make wine and fish sammiches, but that he’s probably not allowed to go into bars without being searched for bottles of water. Or paying a huge Jesus-only cover. Like the sign out front says, “Live band, no cover — except you, Jesus.” And I don’t think Jesus has a lot of money, so we’d better just hang out at the house.
I’ll save y’all some seats on the bus to you-know-where.