Back to the Battle

Back on the front lines of the Great Flea War, yesterday I sprayed flea spray in the bedroom (and locked the cats out, of course)… and then I may have gone too far.  I found this hypoallergenic flea spray that you spray ON the cats… and I did it.

The worst part (from my point of view and probably theirs as well) was that after you sprayed the cat and rubbed the stuff in, you had to wait TEN MINUTES before drying the cat off with a towel.  That adds up to FORTY minutes of me with my hands full of extremely displeased cat!  The only escapee was Callie Jean (of course!) — who got loose and ran around and around the living room like a house afire, but luckily, the bedroom was shut up, remember, so she had no place to hide and I eventually caught her.  Whereupon she kicked me so hard I not only have bloody claw-pokes, I have BRUISES.  She’s a brawler, that one.

Fortunately, no one seemed to have any adverse side effects to the spray, except of course Callie Jean being EVEN MORE pissed than she was after the bath, and Mina acting crazier than usual with her staring-at-shit-I-can’t-see routine.   Ti-Jacques did throw up, but I think that was because he licked the bleu cheese dressing off my salad.  Yeah, he’s weird.  He also likes to put his wee paws on your lips if you’re talking while he’s sleeping… like “shhhhh, I’s SEEPY.”

And Marceau’s a drag queen.

Yep, it’s totally my fault for naming him Marceau Jerome, and it’s his lifestyle and I support it.  However, I do NOT appreciate him constantly stealing my razors and carrying them around the house… nor stealing the tea light candles out of their holders and “redecorating.”  But the WORST thing he’s done is this:  A while ago, he knocked my blush off the counter and a little piece broke out, you know how it does.  So I never COULD find the piece…

Cut to this weekend, when Marceau comes trotting jauntily through the living room with his paws and face BRIGHT red. I immediately flipped the fuck out, thinking it was blood, but as I was wiping him with a warm washcloth, looking for the wounds, I began to notice the “blood” was not red… so much as it was… PINK…

Yes, that little psycho has hidden that piece of blush somewhere AND IS USING IT HIMSELF.  I guess it’s good that he’s using it CORRECTLY, but I’m locking up the eyeliner from now on.  You’re not supposed to share makeup, Marceau, one of us is gonna get the pinkeye.


Filed under Calpurnia Jean, Kittehs!, La Vida Loca

30 responses to “Back to the Battle

  1. Esme leaves bruises, too, sometimes.

    He steals your razors? Wow! He sounds scary.


    • I was torn between drag queen and serial killer until the makeup incident… he also knocked over a lamp yesterday and tried to drag it across the floor, so the interior decorating hasn’t stopped either…


  2. I have always thought that my cats were plotting my destruction… like when they disappear for hours on end, they aren’t sleeping. They are doing “cat things”… like moving the foundation of the house, a fraction of a centimeter at a time. Eventually the house will collapse.


  3. I’d keep an eye on that Marceau. Whether he’s trying to accent his cheekbones or if he’s ACTUALLY trying to paint his face like a clown and then hide under your sewer grate, that cat is up to no good, Hoody.

    Roxie (my Westie) is quite the princess when she comes back from the groomer. As in PRANCES around and preens. She’s kind of a tomboy, she loves mud, and her favorite time is right after the grass is mowed. She’ll run out and roll in it, turning herself green. The first time it happened, I didn’t put two and two together – I instantly thought she’d been attacked by a leprechaun.


    • Callie Jean turned slightly pink after the flea spray — she’s a white cat and I think the spray makes the fleas explode or something, so she was quite gory for awhile.


  4. Might wanna hide the lipstick and mascara as well. Are you missing any high heeled shoes? May want to check out the closet.

    And of course you would have a drag queen cat and one that stares at ghosts. Normalcy is not your style girl!


    • don’t forget, Callie Jean has crossed eyes and Ti-Jacques has comlpletely black skin on his paw pads (I had NEVER seen that before, I think that’s why he’s such a badass — he’s Shaft!). Normal just isn’t in the picture!


  5. Fleas are so hard to get rid of! If there is a Tractor Supply store near you go there and get the flea bombs they have. They work really well!


  6. I’ve given my cat exactly one bath.
    I fed her some stew thing because I didn’t have any cat food left, and I thought people stew would be ok. It STANK, I’m so fucking glad that I didn’t eat it, but she had to be washed.
    She came out, and shat on my bean bag. Then threw up on it. She’s never done either of those since, and I’ve never given her a bath. I think it’s a fair deal.

    Cat bruises are evil, they know your soft parts and aim for them. I do however have to see pics of Marceau in makeup…

    Pusscilla of the Desert…


  7. I always have this mystery bruise on my thigh. I’m pretty sure it is from Oliver stomping on me in the night.

    Time to get that kitten some makeup of his own. If he starts young he’ll be using it tastefully by the time he’s an adult.


  8. Monkey, thank ceiling cat, has no interest in my makeup. However, she will stick her entire head in my glass of mead when I’m not looking and refuse to get out. Might be refuses, might be stuck. The result is the same. Less mead for me.


    • yet another point in Marceau’s Queenliness… he drinks wine out of my cup when I’m not looking. And I only drink PINK wine, so it’s not like it’s even a manly merlot or something.


  9. OMG! I AM LAUGHING MY ASS OFF! I’m just picturing Marceau wearing blush, carrying razors and tea lights around. That he hid the blush is just too much.

    And Ti-Jacques is just too cute with paws on the lips to shush you! My cat gets annoyed with me if the phone rings or I’m talking on it in the bedroom while she’s trying to sleep. She gets so pissed she’ll come over and give me a hard nip! But when I want her to shut up at night? Oh no, she just keeps waking me up. Maybe I should start giving her a nip!


    • you’d just get a mouthful of cat fur — trust me, I’ve tried the whole “establish your dominance by biting their neck” thing on numerous pets, and it never works.


  10. My cats don’t steal things. What Lila likes to do is tear around my sewing room while I have my fabric and patterns out, taking flying leaps in the middle, lying down and rolling on the fabric, and shredding the paper to bits. I recently found some interfacing instructions that had been very thoroughly hunted, captured and disemboweled. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t survive trying to rub anything into her fur.

    At least Marceau doesn’t have opposable thumbs, so he can’t borrow your mascara. That’s the worst offender for pinkeye (or so I’ve heard).


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  12. Flea battles are horrible. One thing that really get rid of them is 20 Mule team borax. It’s in the laundry soap isle of the store. I punch a few holes in the top and use it like a giant salt shaker. Sprinkle liberally all over the place and leave it over night or a day or 2 if you feel lazy. Then and sweep or vacuum it up. You can walk on it and it not really toxic like flea bombs. It’s worked for me every time.

    Getting the fleas of the cat is a different story. I’ve considered catching them in a fishing net and dunking them in a vat of flea stuff, and then tossing them out the back door. Haven’t actually done it yet though.


  13. lmfao
    Oh, how I wish you had gotten a picture of Marceau all tarted up for a night on the town!

    As for the fleas, one of the best things I use is called NaturVet Herbal Flea Spray. It’s for fleas and flies and is safe for dogs and cats. Just spray the animals and rub it in, no need to rinse. It won’t hurt the animals at all, even when ingested. Also, it smells great sprayed on the bed, furniture, etc where the animals sleep because it’s made of Rosemary and Cedar oils.


  14. Pingback: Drag Queen or Tomboy? | hoodyhoo

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