These Girls and Their Shoes

So the Weasel and I worked a class reunion over the weekend (Class of ’91, three years older than me and 2 years younger than him — Chuckweasel is OLD).  And I was reminded of a phenomenon that has been confusing me for some time… the generational differences in women’s shoe behavior.

Allow me to elaborate.  These young things today, the ones in their early 20’s or so, they wear these 9 inch tall spikey hooker shoes… AND THEY KEEP THEM ON ALL NIGHT.  Back in my day (and consequently, still), we also wore those shoes… from the house to the car, from the car to the party/bar/whatever, and vice versa.  We took them fuckers OFF the minute we hit the door, and they stayed under the table until it was time to go home!  And if we’re truthful, we didn’t even wear them home, we made our boyfriends carry them while our drunk asses laid in the street.

Now, Dear Sweet Mama is also a shoes-off gal, as is East Coast Aunt, who is 11 years older.  So I think this has got to be a new thing — have girls evolved stronger/tougher/number feet?  And if so, what does this mean for humanity? 

I tell you one thing, though, it sure does explain why those precious little snowflakes act so slutty… they can’t remain upright!

Also, I need your help:  I want the guy from “My Strange Addiction” who is married to his sex doll to have to go out to dinner with the lady who carries that creepy lifelike doll around and acts like it’s her real baby.  I think she’s his mother-in-law or something, in their own FUCKING CRAZY kind of way.  We must diligently pray for this to happen.  Praise the Lord.

 

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12 Comments

Filed under He's the DJ I'm the Rapper, I'm Confused, Jesus and Pals, La Vida Loca, Things I Don't Know, WTF???

12 responses to “These Girls and Their Shoes

  1. I totally don’t understand hooker heels. They look so uncomfy.

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  2. I just posted about this phenomenon, with photographic evidence of one such specimen. I cannot understand how they walk in those things. Like you said, we wore them in our youth, but only to walk to the car and into the bar. When we would go dance, those suckers were nowhere near our feet!

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  3. I’m the same age as you and I wore my five inch heels all night. The difference is probably that I was strictly a chunky heel girl until I got old and moved to two inch heels – which are still not stiletto thin. Also, I have Barbi doll arches so walking around without shoes isn’t comfortable – I end up walking on tip toe to stretch my footsy muscles.

    So I guess what I’m saying is I have no answer for you.

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    • Ah, grasshopper — the really thick Riot Grrl type shoes with the big chunky heels stayed on, but those were really more for ass-kickin’ than dancin’! And I have the big weird arches, too, but I just tell people Dear Sweet Mama bound my feet as a child.

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  4. I believe there are two types of women, and it isn’t necessarily a generational thing.

    There are women who wear whore-shoes for brief periods to look sexy for a minute before coming to their senses and taking the friggin’ things off (they might not even OWN a single pair of high heels, and then there are androids that LOOK like women, but are actually kind of like a Stepford Wife and aren’t ACTUALLY humans, so they haven’t figured out that those creepy little deathtraps aren’t actually shoes.

    Oh, and maybe some of them are ninjas and the shoes are their sexy-girl-ninja weapons.

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    • I have a couple pairs of shoes I think I could kill someone with, but again — they are FOR PRETTY. They are not and should never be considered ACTUAL FOOTWEAR.

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  5. I was never the high heel kind of girl. But I do remember some high heeled boots I had on at a convention where I layed/sat barefoot and quite wasted screaming “Fuck the boots” at all passerbys….(Visioncon is THAT awesome btw)

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  6. I think girls are just getting stronger. It’s the hormones and medicines in the water, the fertilizer, and the huge quantities of diet coke and red bull they consume.

    I am so glad I am a guy.

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