Sorry I was MIA on Friday — apparently everybody but me got the memo not to come to work so I was busier than a one-armed paper hanger in an ass-kickin’ contest (I may have fucked up that analogy…).
DAY 6: SHIT TO GO DOWN DAY
So, the tensions have been building… 6 women and a small girl child mooshed up together in a condo with ONLY 2 BATHROOMS… bad enough. Add in the inevitable personality conflicts that occur when more than 1 member of the Hoo Family is in the same geographic region at the same time (seriously, there’s a reason we’re pretty much spread out all over the place)… and you get… SHIT GOING DOWN.
The first battle of Day 6 begins when Dear Sweet Mama, The Concubine, and HoodyHoo announce their intention to go over to Manteo during the bad-UV part of the day to look at the always-kitschy Christmas Shop (if you’ve ever been, you understand. If not, go NOW). ECA views this as a mutiny (which is always what happens when any members of “the crew” break off on their own… but DSM always has selective amnesia regarding this fact and is thus constantly surprised when it happens… AGAIN). So there begins a bit of bitching, but it isn’t so bad, and the mutinous trio sets out… but ECA’s reaction has put The Concubine in fine fettle, because TC doesn’t have A) DSM’s amnesia or B) Hoody’s complete lack of give-a-shit.
So after The Christmas Shop (where Our Heroine further ingratiates herself with Tiny Second Cousin (and, by extension, ECA) by buying C2 an ornament with her name on it (C2, like Hoody herself, has an unusual name and so does not usually get cool crap like kids named Jennifer or Bobby would)) — whoa, what a lotta parentheses! The 3 Mutineers are driving along to the next destination when The Concubine makes the mistake of telling Hoody to be quiet so she can give DSM directions.
This is a problem because A) Hoody basically grew up here and knows where everything is, as does DSM, so the discussion in question was more of a “should we go this way and look for better parking or just give up and park here?” than any actual degree of lost-ness. And of course, B) NO ONE PUTS HOODY IN THE CORNER. Not even poor dead Jerry Orbach, and certainly not a member of her own fam dambly.
So there was some snapping, and Hoody followed the “Yell and Walk Away” rule… so by the time we arrived at the cool bookstore, all was forgotten… or so it appeared…
After remaining MIA through lunch so as to eat the magnificent Rundown Soup, The 3 Mutineers return to the condo to take part in more pool time and participate in dinner planning. It is decided that the party will attempt to dine at a restaurant that offers a buy-one-get-one-free deal IF your entire party is seated by 4:30pm. As zero-hour approaches… The Concubine’s stress level is increasing…
It’s gonna take at least one more post to get all the way through this — which I think means I will have blogged about the beach longer than I was actually AT the beach, but whaddya gonna do? Stay tuned!