Got a Boo-Boo

As I think we’ve already established, I am not what you’d call “the most graceful person in the world.”  Let’s face it, I’m fairly often not even what you’d call “able to remain upright for extended periods.”  Oh, okay, “brief periods.” 

Anyhoo, my swanlike grace led me to step on the plug end of the vacuum cleaner cord the other day (see, Dear Sweet Mama?  I had the vacuum cleaner out!) and now there’s a huge bruise on the sole of my foot.  But it got me thinking — why does anything you do to your foot hurt like a bazillion times worse than if it was any other body part?  When I stepped on that plug, I actually hollered and fell to the ground like Julia Roberts in “Steel Magnolias.”  And she was DYING, yo.  That’s how bad it hurt.

On the other hand (ha!) I once put my hand through a glass window (I was banging on a door to get my dogs to behave, and my hand went right through) and I had this big ol’ shard of glass  literally HANGING (and I do mean “literally,” remember, I’m a word snob) out of my hand, and I managed to get the dogs in, get the glass out, get the boyfriend at the time (useless twat) to stop wigging out and call Dear Sweet Mama, and MOSTLY slow the bleeding down before I passed out.  But if I stub my toe, I wail and cuss like I’ve been stabbed.  Why IS that?

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27 Comments

Filed under I'm Confused, La Vida Loca, SCIENCE!, Things I Don't Know

27 responses to “Got a Boo-Boo

  1. When I was a kid…. and I mean up until 16 years old… I used to pee my pants! I was totally useless with keys, so my sister held our key and she would doddle home and I would pee on our front door almost every day! True Story! Sorry about your foot! I would take a leave of absence from work and make Chuckweasle do all the chores from now on! Its obviously dangerous for you!!

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    • sounds like maybe your sister was being a slowpoke on purpose to make you “pee the door” (hey, if it’s “pee the bed”, then it’s “pee the door.”)… you oughta tell on her!

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  2. I think our feet are not as protected, we cover them in shoes and socks and tights but our hands only see gloves in harsh weather or when doing hard labour and develop a greater resilience.
    People who run around with bare feet have strong firm feet much more resilient to pain. I have dancers feet, hard in places (particularly where they used to catch me when I danced) but the arch of my foot is extremely sensitive because it’s never had much contact, if I get a shard of glass in there I wimp out but if I get one in my heel I usually don’t feel it. (Did I mention that I’m always smashing pottery and glasses while cleaning the kitchen) . I wail and cuss and cry all pathetic and sorry for myself every time I hit my not-so funny bone. Which is often.

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    • I am also a Breaker of Household Shit — I actually buy my dishes based on how big and easy-to-clean-up the shards will be when I inevitably destroy them! My worst was the time I knocked over my earring holder and accidentally stepped in the mess — I had like 10 stuck in my foot! Almost died.

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  3. I think our brain sends out more panic signals from a foot injury because, we become …gasp…not mobile when a foot is on the fritz. Or that could just be my brain’s way of thinking.

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  4. I have a theory that our feet are actually really tough… but they get hurt worse than any other part. OK, so, a person who takes a normal step actually puts (roughly) three times their weight in pressure on their foot every time they take a step. SO, if you’re 100lbs, and step on a vacuum cord, it’s like getting struck by a 300lb cord.

    Or when you stub your toe, the toe is actually moving at like 20mph. If your car hit something going that fast, you would lose your bumper and spend all morning on the phone with your insurance company trying to explain how you stubbed your car on that stupid Kia that would NOT GET OUT OF THE FRIGGIN WAY, damnit.

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  5. It’s because your feet are the windows to your sole.

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  6. I’m not actually sure this is limited to feet. When I bang my head or drop something on my foot or slam my finger in a drawer, there’s a moment of intense pain and several minutes of swearing. On the other hand, I’ve been knocked on my ass, bleeding from multiple cuts and just thought, “Oh dear, I better get up and manage the situation.”

    Shock is your brain’s way of saying, “Do something about this before we die of blood loss, you dumb shit.”

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    • LOVE IT! Maybe that’s why the little insignificant injuries (like stubbing your toe) hurt so much more than the actual life threatening ones? Your brain is like, “It’s just your toe, pussy, get over it,” and goes away to let you concentrate on it.

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  7. I’d like to know the answer to that myself! Last week I was walking fast (I don’t really run unless chasing a cupcake truck) and knocked the hell out of my little tow on a door jam.

    I seriously thought I was going to pass out for a minute there. And I have a pretty high pain tolerance!

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    • The little injuries just HURT! And you scream and wail and people think you got your tit caught in the blender and then you’re embarrassed to tell them you just dropped a can on your foot.

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  8. I once stepped on a hot soldering iron with my bare foot. I wouldn’t recommend it.

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    • AAAACK! How does that even happen???

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      • This was back when I was in college and living in the dorms, and we all used to leave our doors open and wander into each other’s rooms all the time. The guy in the room next door had been soldering something for an electrical engineering class, and left the soldering iron on the floor…

        I learned an important lesson that day: if you’re in bare feet, and someone says “Don’t step on the … “, you should stop walking at least until they finish their sentence.

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  9. I cried out loud just reading that you stepped on that plug. I’ve done that. It hurts! Poco once decided to kill the cactus my high school boyfriend gave me – by pulling it out of the pot and throwing it onto the floor in the middle of the night. Walking out for breakfast the next morning was QUITE the surprise.

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  10. “And she was dying, yo” lol

    Hand THROUGH the glass? Are you the terminator?

    Sorry about your foot. I recently blogged about how I hurt the top of my foot, so had to take off one sandle and walk home one-foot-shoeless. Classy. I also had a run-in with my vacuum a few months ago and basically broke every single bone in my body. (Not really, but I may as well have for all I bitched about it.)

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    • that’s exactly how I felt about it — I stepped on the plug and now I have polio. And I totally did not INTEND to put my hand through the window — but them damn dogs sure straightened up after that!

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  11. Megan P.

    I am creeping out of the shadows to comment because I just cannot control myself. I am late in my response but that is the woes of unpacking. I was cleaning the bathroom the other day and was emptying the trash can… did I mention nothing, I mean NOTHING stays in my hands well? I will let your imagination take hold for just a second… (I will help a little in what the trashcan looks like. It is METAL, freaking heavy nice metal trashcan). Yea I have a scraped big toe and a nice bruise but I did act like I had been shot and was dying. Fell on the ground, grabbing my foot and not saying very lady like words. You are not alone!

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  12. Welcome to the Light, young Skywalker! And I once dropped a nightstand on my thigh (still not really sure how) and now I have a dent in it. My thigh, not the nightstand.

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