The Line Forms to the Left…

… for all the idiots who spent all winter saying there’s no such thing as global warming.  It’s time for me to slap you like your mama shoulda.

First of all, I watched a documentary this weekend (that’s what they call things on TV that are TRUE, you nudnicks!) and they showed a graph (an actual GRAPH!) that showed that, since the 1980’s, every summer has been “the hottest summer on record” — until the NEXT summer.  So it gets hotter every summer than it was the summer before… or I guess you could say “warmer”…

Then Chuckweasel and I worked an outdoor wedding and now we’re both sunburnt to bejeezus and back.  And I don’t usually even burn (Chuckweasel does, he’s very white), but these folks thought it would be a great idea to have the wedding at 1:30 in the afternoon — yes, the exact time frame when you’re NOT SUPPOSED TO BE OUTSIDE!  So even my superior melanin factory of a skin tone was no match for Super Sun!  I now have a tanline… of the DRESS I wore to the wedding.  Just the sheath, though, not the billowy sleeves — the sun beat right through them.  Sex-ay.

I really think we as people may need to rethink this whole “doin’ shit outside” thing.  In the winter, you freeze to death or get buried in a snowdrift, and in the summer, you turn into a charcoal briquette in exactly 8 seconds.  I was never a fan of “doin’ shit outside” to start with (once it was no longer age-appropriate for me to dig in the dirt for earthworms to take on a tour of the yard), plus I grew up in the 80’s and 90’s, when any parent who wanted even a minute of peace in the house was selling their plasma for video game systems.  And Dear Sweet Mama likes her some peace, y’all.

PS:  Kitteh update:  Callie Jean has claimed Luci as “her” cat — she washes her the most and lets Luci sleep snuggled up against her.  I thought Mina was gonna be mine and Marceau Chuckweasel’s, but she sleeps with the Weasel WITHOUT trying to suck his blood, and Marceau loves him some Mommy, so I don’t know.




Filed under Adventures with Dear Sweet Mama, GENIUS!, He's the DJ I'm the Rapper, I'm Confused, Kittehs!, SCIENCE!, Weep for Humanity, WTF???

31 responses to “The Line Forms to the Left…

  1. Hehe, I know when my boy was young I was his number one fan, then that went out of the window when he was neutered he suddenly liked us both. Pfft, I’m still the favourite though 😛
    I burned last week chatting to the neighbour over the fence for an hour, my face was burnt and his neck was 🙂


  2. Ya outside isn’t so fantastic… except when it is 25 C and breezy which happens about 30 minutes once a year. So if you miss it your screwed….

    To be honest I don’t want to die in a Global warmth fire pit of hell but I also don’t want to freeze in an ice age! And if you believe the move “The Day after Tomorrow”…that is exactly what is going to happen!!


  3. I loathe the summer and the heat and humidity. I like winetr here because it’s very mild and there’s no snow- it’s the only time the temps are bearable. Also, male kitties have always been my fave for pets.


  4. Dear Sweet Mama

    We are in the Upstate NY place of air conditioner during the day, heat on at night, which takes all my skills to do since it is programmed and I have to keep resetting the computer. I would just pile on more blankets but the Concubine went insane while I was in Oregon and packed them away in mothballs as if we were not going to use them again – it is only June. You need to slip those kittehs some kippered snack – then they will know who they love the best. And Frogger and Tetris are the only reasons
    you still live, my love.


  5. I, too, believe that there’s climate change at work It’s something I don’t talk about much with people (anymore) because of how heated (ha ha) some people become.

    Somehow the issue has become more of a political debate than a scientific one…



    • yeah, I noticed that, too. I don’t believe in global warming because Al Gore told me to, I believe in global warming BECAUSE I CAN READ A GRAPH! Dumbasses.


  6. I had my boyfriend’s stepmother say, “Well, if there’s global warming, why has it been so cold out lately?”

    Seriously? SERIOUSLY?

    Also, I understand about the sunburn thing. If I don’t wear SPF 9000 I turn into a little pink pile of agony. I have a mental disorder, though, and can’t stop going outside.


  7. Oh…I can’t stand how people discount global warming by stating it has been so cold! I swear they intentionally misunderstand and use that as an excuse. We had our one day of nice weather here in the Northwest Saturday…I am so burned I can barely lift my arms! I am an outdoor girl rain or shine but sadly we get little shine here and when we do I o.d. like a bad addict…then suffer for days while waiting patiently for the sun to come out to do it all over again.


  8. I had a yard sale all weekend. Smart thing to do on one of the hottest weekends we’ve had so far this year, don’t ya think?….


  9. Boys are always fans of the mama. Oliver is learning to like The Boy and has even forsaken me for The Boy when The Boy had the blanket (The Blanket?). But he’ll always be a mama’s boy.

    The weather is the best thing about Wyoming. Cool in the summer. And, um, well, really cool in the winter. But that’s okay – I hate being hot but I loooove sweaters. Though it did go from winter (snowing) last week to summer (holy hades hot) in one day last week and we are now thinking real hard about something other than open windows to handle the heat in the upstairs. That, or we’re all sleeping in the basement and I’ll have to start putting my clothes away rather than just piling them on the bed in the spare room.


    • It was so hot this weekend I slept in the floor again, because the A/C just couldn’t handle it, even on high. And yes, I received the Wrath of Callie Jean for my inappropriate sleeping position.


  10. It was 85 INSIDE the house yesterday, because the old air conditioner can only keep it about 20 degrees cooler than it is outside. What the hell am I going to do in August?! The fire ants have already moved in with me!


    • I think I’d be okay if I didn’t have to go out and get hot, then come back in and try to get cool when I’m already too hot! Plus, you could fry an egg on my eyelid!


  11. I’m with you on the outdoors. As Terry Pratchett said, there’s a reason they call Nature a mother. I was forced outside as a kid by my mom, then again as an adult by my friends and family. There are no good memories associated with ANY of these experiences. I once broke up with a boy because his favorite activities were hunting, fishing and camping.

    The Hubs insists that global warming is exaggerated then complains about all the weather changes, then wants to take a vacation to a tropical island. You’ll probably have to slap him three times.


    • I have also ended a relationship after the words “backpack frame” and “weight distribution” were uttered in my prescence! Dear Sweet Mama and the Concubine love all that hiking shit… I’ll be at the bar!


  12. One thing the climate does is change. That is a constant. But do we really know why? It changed a lot before humans got here. That being said, I refuse to attend “outside” events. If God intended us to fry like bacon then why did he let us invent buildings? 🙂


    • Yeah, I think that’s the problem — I don’t CARE what CAUSED it, just accept that it’s happening and prepare accordingly! We don’t have to get into a debate about whether it’s our fault or not!


  13. I JUST today saw an article about how the UV rays will be way stronger this year in Canada because the ozone layer over the arctiv is depleated beyond recognition. Dammit.


  14. I got a burn on my forehead yesterday when my mom opened the sunroof during a 15-minute drive.


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