BRAAAAAAAAINS…

Well, I am now prepared for my eventual zombification… I am currently at work functioning on ONE HOUR of sleep.

Yeah, insomnia sucks… but it sucks a fuckload more when your alarm goes off at 3am.  I honestly feel like I’ve been on a three-day drunk — and not the good part, where you’re still really drunk and having a good ol’ time, but the baaaaaad part where you’re still fucked up but you’re starting to get sober BUT YOU’RE STILL TOO FUCKED UP TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.  Yeah, if the three day drunk is Friday through Monday, I’m about a Tuesday.  Tuesday BLOOOOOOWS.

So if I can get through this morning without saying a swear on live radio, it’s all good.  Or falling asleep on my keyboard, which is also a possibility.  Gonna stop typing now, my key-recognition is atrocious today and I’ve already written a script that said someone “tuned” himself in to face charges.  HEP!

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25 Comments

Filed under I'm Confused, La Vida Loca, Random Thoughts, Reality Bites

25 responses to “BRAAAAAAAAINS…

  1. Kristina Johnson

    Who the fuck signs up for a job they need to get up at 3 am for anyways?….That’s where you fucked up! I woulda just called the boss and said “I’m suffering from temporary blindness and I can’t see myself coming in today” that or called in ugly!

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    • The good part about the 3am wakeup is being DONE for the day by about 9ish… and I canNOT call in ugly, dahlin’, that would be lying! ; ) But seriously, when you come in as early as I do, there’s no one to call in TO…

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  2. Lizzybeth

    Passh th hot shauce – like my brainz hot. Empathize with your lack of sleep. My eyes feel like they are coated with hot grit and scrape my eyelids when I blink. At least I don’t smell like I feel *okay, maybe a litte*. At least in radio, you are heard more than seen.

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  3. Man, the hubs woke me up once to deal with puking kids and that’s exactly how I felt. Like my brain was blazing a big neon sign, “SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP,” and that was all I could focus on. I decided then and there to divorce him so I could go back to sleep (it was 2 am, this was a logical decision). He finally let me go back to sleep, I got up at my normal time, noticed he had put the dirty towels in the laundry room sink for me, and decided to stick around.

    What can I say, I’m easy.

    Also, why is it that I can go on a 5 day drunk in Vegas, during which I get 12 hours of sleep, and be perfectly FINE but then turn into a mess when I wake up at 2 or 3 am around here? It’s a conspiracy!

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  4. 1 hour of sleep? How is that possible? Without 8 hours, I cannot function.

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  5. So, do you have the problem that you get REALLY MAD over VERY LITTLE when you don’t sleep enough? For example, this morning, my phone made a noise at 4 in the morning, and I was all, “WHO IS THE ASSHOLE WHO SENT ME A TEXT MESSAGE AT 4 IN THE MORNING!” When I looked, it was my bank, telling me my paycheck went through. Oh. OK then. “SCREW YOU BIRDS! WHY ARE YOU SO LOUD? IT’S TOO EARLY TO BE UP!”

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  6. Lots and lots of coffee might get you through and then dump you just in time to get some sleep. It’s hard to predict when the buzz will wear off, but when it does, you WILL go down and I do not think you will be sorry.
    I hate the insomnia, but I have found if I get up and just walk it helps. It helps make me tired by the time I have to get up, but it helps. 😉
    Hang in there.

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  7. I hope “1 hour of sleep” and “insomnia” are code for high-flying, monkey trapeze sex!

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  8. Sleep deprivation sucks. But on the bright side, you might wind up with some interesting hallucinations. Be careful driving home (unless you use some other form of transportation, in which case, remember not to wander into someone else’s car and drive it home).

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  9. Dear Sweet Mama

    Ouch, my dear sweet baby. Right up there with sleeping on the floor of the airport in Chicago – but with ambien, anything is possible. And I did finally get home. Did I remember to call you? Still feeling rather zombie-ish.

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  10. 3:00 am?? I’m not sure but I think it’s illegal in some states to wake up that early 😛

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  11. Actually, the way I see it, you aren’t getting ready for zombification by not getting sleep…you’re saving yourself. One on hour sleep, the Zombies will take one look at you, decide you must not have any brains worth eating because of the way you are acting, and pass on their merry Zombie way. You totally win. Except for now, when there aren’t any zombies. For now, you totally lose.

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    • maybe I’ll take a picture of myself next time it happens, and that could be like my Zombie ID — “Hey, this is what I really look like, no brains here!”

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  12. How do you keep funny on the radio and not swear? Is it like talking to somebody’s grandmother? Well, then, how do you stay funny?

    When I was in high school, some guys on the radio decided to call Switzerland, for whatever reason. They got in touch with this woman – after calling about four times and letting the phone ring 10 times each time — totally oblivious to the concept of time zones and that it was about 3 A.M. where she was.
    “Who are you?”
    “We’re dilbag and fuckdiddle from radio XRSCREWME!”
    “Um…what?”
    “W’re dilbag and fuckdiddle from radio XRSCREWME!”
    “Do you know what time it is?”
    “You are on the air”
    “Um…am I on the radio?”
    “Yes you are!”
    “Really on the radio right now?”
    “Yes you are!”
    “OK, well then, I have something to say.”
    “Go ahead!”
    “Fuck you!”

    This was back in the 80s. Those guys got fired. Thank god, too, because they were fucking annoying.

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