When Did This Happen?

It’s now Wednesday morning, and I swept up the winter’s worth of dead leaves off the patio on SUNDAY… and I’m still all hunched up and creaky.  Getting old sucks.  Plus, it doesn’t help that this crazy weather seems to think that constant rain is a good plan… some of us can’t take the damp, Weather!

Now a few updates.  Chuckweasel double-booked us this weekend (and one of them’s a double VENUE, so it probably counts as TRIPLE-booked) so we’ve had to rent more equipment.  And now my living room is so chock full of electronics — which the Redneck Hillfolk SAW being delivered… well, let’s just say I sleep with a broadsword.

Speaking of the Redneck Hillfolk — while I was waiting for the equipment to be delivered, there was a knock at the door.  I naturally assumed it was the delivery dude, so I hollered “Just a minute!” so I could get my pants on (I don’t sit around the house in my school clothes, yo.).  But when I peeked thru the peek-hole, IT WAS A COP!  And unfortunately, I sort of blurted “It’s a cop!” to Chuckweasel, which the cop undoubtedly heard, so Baby Jeebus only knows what he thinks I was doing.  Luckily, he had bigger fish to fry, ’cause he asked where the Evil Apartment Manager was, and I told him, and he left.  AND THEN ANOTHER PLAINCLOTHES UNDERCOVER-Y COP SHOWED UP, TOO!  Chuckweasel says I have no way of knowing this, but I knows cop when I sees it.  And I think they went upstairs and rousted the illegals or maybe just the Polish (or maybe the Polish WERE illegal?), but I don’t know for sure, ’cause I couldn’t Mrs. Kravitz at the peek-hole AND at the window at the same time, and Chuckweasel refused to help.  But last time La Migra came, they had to bring the SWAT team assault-rifle guys, so stuff’s gettin’ better!



Filed under He's the DJ I'm the Rapper, La Vida Loca, Only in Wes' BYGAWD Virginny, Random Thoughts, Reality Bites, Weep for Humanity, WTF???, Ye Olde Apartment Complex

28 responses to “When Did This Happen?

  1. Lizzybeth

    Wow, you live one ‘citin’ life, you do. The only excitement we get in my remote neck of Sweat-Your-Butt-Off is the occasional dead guy on the back side of the property and census workers — six census workers. The sheer number of census workers made us suspicious, like maybe the Census sent their operatives to case the place… We live in the sticks. If they had just told us that they were sending one census worker per family member, I coud have told them that they were planning on sending too many. That, and they would not get much intel from the baby, he’s tight-lipped. But, I digress… Yea, rainy rain rain stinks.


    • that’s a good baby, you’re raisin’ him up right! And round here in Wes’ BYGAWD Virginny, they sent the census people around in big clots to prevent them getting shot. ‘Cause we do that. No, really.

      And what do you mean “occasional dead guy on the back side of the property?” That makes it sound like this has happened more than once…


      • Lizzybeth

        Once… so far. The fifth census worker got a little uneasy hearing my neighbor’s target practice with his automatic weapon-of-choice. So, it was a little surprising when the sixth showed up ( I may have been a touch rude at that point – “I’m not answering another question that you can find the answer for through any public records search or on the internet. Now get off of our property!”). And for the record, I had nothing to do with the dead guy, I just found him there one morning. Really.


  2. Lizzybeth

    Well, that’s my story, an’ I’m stick’n to it. (It’s big back acreage, and you never know what the cat might drag in…)


  3. I’ve got out of suburbia to where all the action is… talk about getting old. Nothing says old, like the only excitement you get in a neighborhood is when someone’s dog gets out.


    • I don’t know, our neighbor’s dog got out once when I was little and bit me on the butt. I found that pretty exciting, and so did the doctors when they asked “Where did he bite you?” and I said “Down the street from my house,” because I didn’t want to say “butt” to the doctors!


  4. Don’t you just hate it when the other people who squat with you WON’T FING HELP!!! I mean really all you were asking was for him to MAN the window… his refusal only goes to prove that he doesn’t love you and you should totally get rid of him! Who wants a man who’s love ends at EASEDROPING?? Not me that’s who… 🙂


  5. When I was a kid, we used to decide when to take down the Christmas tree by when something exciting was happening out the front door. We watched a SWAT team do a drug bust up the street, a semi back into our yard, a shootout between the neighbors across the street, then the next year one of those guys had a shootout with his head…

    Just four people, taking down a Christmas tree in January in Wyoming with the door wide open…how could you possibly think we’re doing anything other than minding our own business?


  6. Definitely worth putting pants on for, yo!


  7. We once watched the police close the street off and then raid a pub (we lived just above and across from it) to get this HUGE guy it took eight poilce to pin him down and cuff him as well as 3 big dogs. We gather it was a drug sting since we were the only witnesses – they couldn’t well ask us to draw the curtains now…it was pretty cool it all happened within three minutes 😀


    • that’s SWEET! So far we’ve had the assault-rifle SWAT guys twice — I think they’re Immigration or maybe the Drug Unit. This time was just a State Trooper and an undercover plain-clothes guy… so I’m not sure what was goin’ down.


  8. I’m going to need more. Don’t think you and I go back far enough, but I wrote a whole series (ok, four stories) about the Jefferly (I live on Jefferson) Hillbillies, a squared-headed family of professional beggars and thieves that moved in three houses down from us two summers ago. Them were good times.

    And I do not miss them.




    • oh, there will be more — Black Lawyer (who lives on the top floor and used to be Black Neighbor until we got a little more diverse up in here!) says the Now-Deceased Landlord used to let illegal immigrants “squat” for exorbitant amounts of money, so I’m sure ICE will be back!


  9. Chuckweasel needs to be educated in the art of snooping. Men don’t understand the importance of having all these little factoids and deets on your neighbors.

    As a kid, one of my friends lived next to a drug den. They raided it with SWAT teams when I was over there, and we had to go upstairs and lay down on the floor. I cried like a little wuss because her dad yelled at me for wanting to go over to the window and watch.

    I live in suburbia now and heartily hate it. The only time we get the cops here is when one of the senior citizens goes a bit barmy and starts yelling at people or throwing things at the kids playing outside. The Hubs accidentally befriended one of these oldsters and she used to come over here regularly to call the cops, all paranoid that someone had gotten into her house and taken some of her things (Hubs had been inside and said he didn’t know how she could tell anything was missing). I think she finally got moved into a home for the bewildered, so it’s been quiet here.


    • Dear Sweet Mama and I used to have neighbors who would wear prom dresses to walk down the street to Kroger and come over to ask if we had any men’s underwear they could borrow (we did not, because no men lived with us… but then, none lived with them, either). They also brought earthworms over for DSM to look at from time to time. But the lady next to them wore foil in her ears and said she was allergic to SOUNDS, so they were only the SECOND-craziest!


  10. Chris Cochran

    How is Carlos anyway?


  11. Whoa. Sounds like some crazy shit goes down where you live. The biggest thing that ever happens in my neighborhood are new Turkish hair styles and somebody pissing off the lifeguard at the pool.

    Oh, and sometimes people jump in front of the subway. Then they stop the subway due to “an ill guest.”


  12. Doesn’t it just piss you off to no end that men won’t particpate in neighbor spying? I mean, your Neighborhood Watch Program.


    • I KNOW! I told him it’s our civic responsibility as Americans, and he said I was snooping! SNOOPING! Chuckweasel must also hate America… and freedom… and goats… who does this sound like?


  13. Nope…nope… it can’t be…I read his blog…. He has NO problem taking a Trifflin Sista to the WEST SIDE first house on the left (or was it right? CRAP)… so he is OBVIOIUSLY NOT afraid of getting shot. Just sayin…. was there a spider anywhere near the window??? I would put my money on he is afraid of bugs.


    • OHMYGAWD, I completely forgot about that! And there WAS a spider on the porch when I swept it this weekend, and I did tell Chuckweasel it was there… CAUGHT!


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