So I get into work this morning and check the news feeds and what do I see? The Rapture dude now says he got the date wrong, and we are ACTUALLY gonna get Raptured on October 21st.
Where to begin? First of all, you can’t just keep throwing out imaginary dates you made up, good sir. EVERYONE KNOWS the world is going to end on December 21st, and it’s next year, not this year. Please endeavor to keep up, you’re screwing up the grading curve.
Also — if this preacher dude supposedly is getting his super-secret knowledge from God Himself, is it possible God just doesn’t like him very much? Could he have been… PUNK’D BY THE LORD?
Anyhoo, I’m considering buying a calendar specifically for keeping track of all the dates the world is supposed to end, just so I can make my plans. I mean, world domination doesn’t happen by itself, people!
And another thing — if the Rapture isn’t until October, it will be AFTER my birthday. So I don’t get to die while I’m still in my “early” thirties (shut up, Chuckweasel, it’s early if I say so), but I do still get presents, so it evens out. I want a chest freezer. You know, for storing looter-meat.