See Y’all Next Week

Yeah, I’ve pretty much decided even if there is a big ol’ Rapture on Saturday, I’ll still be around on Sunday.  I am, however, putting off doing any CHORES until Sunday, just so as not to waste the effort.  But on Sunday, I think I’ll make some salmon…

What kills me is that some people actually seem to be taking this SERIOUSLY.  And not just the ones standing nekkid on their roofs waiting to get picked up, I mean the nay-sayers, too.  I heard some dude (on the Coast-to-Coast, of course) ranting that the Bible says “no man may know the hour or the day,” and I’m like, “Dude, CHILL.  YOU MUST CHILL.  This happens all the time, you’d think the world was ending every other Tuesday.” 

But I do intend to be an asshole and call my extremely-Christian father at like 6:15pm or so (it’s s’posed to be at 6, right?) and I’m gonna be all like, “Oh, you’re still here?”  But he’s ALSO an asshole, so he may let the machine get it to teach my heathen ass a lesson.

Anyhoo, love to all o’ y’all, and if any of you don’t come back next week, I’ll know St. Peter is not above taking a bribe!  : )

PS Happy Birthday Weekend, Leauxra!  Use that new Tupperware to save me some Jello and zombies!  (in separate containers, please)

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19 Comments

Filed under GENIUS!, Jesus and Pals, Random Thoughts, Weep for Humanity, WTF???

19 responses to “See Y’all Next Week

  1. “Oh, you’re still here?”—Hilarious! Have a good nonworld-ending weekend!

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  2. Yeah, only I would have a birthday party the day AFTER the rapture. Thanks for the good wishes. If anything can survive the end of the world, it’s tupperware.

    On a side note, I am considering setting full sets of clothing in random places around town so it’ll look like people got raptured. I would like to spread the word that EVERYONE should do this because it would be pretty funny to point at the clothes and be like, “THAT guy got raptured? Wearing a Megadeth T-shirt? God must really like the heavy metal.”

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  3. Do you think Honda will take “Dude, I didn’t make my car payment because I was SUPPOSED to evaporate to Heaven on Saturday!!!” as a valid excuse?

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  4. Julia Johnston

    Your not doing chores? I’m not paying bills!!! I also bought magic beans! I will plant them at 5:45pm JUST IN CASE!!!

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  5. Are you asking your father if he’s still here because he’s one of the ones who believes this stuff or because if it happened he assume he’d be raptured immediately but wasn’t if he answere the phone at 6:15?

    Either way…brilliant!

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  6. I’m not doing chores on Sunday – I’ve got my lootin bags and boxes all ready!

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    • I know, I’m so mad… I couldn’t find anybody who got Raptured, so not only did I have to go ahead and clean my porch instead of looting, but I also didn’t get any new post-Rapture Baptist shoes! Grrr.

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  7. My extremely Christian family is too holy to participate in these goings-on, so I can’t even call them up to see if they’re Raptured. They really do suck the fun out of fundamentalism.

    Youngest has a baseball game on Saturday, and I plan to attend — otherwise, staying off the road in case of unmanned (or unwomanned, I suppose) cars. Hey, I said I was skeptical, not stupid.

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  8. LOVE IT.

    I didn’t even realize this was supposed to be happening, until someone made a joke about now having to buy groceries because of the evident LACK OF RAPTURE.

    Then I had to google that shizz.

    I really hope you called your dad and said it as non-chalantly as possible. Thanks for the chuckle.

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    • as I said, he’s an asshole, too, so he didn’t answer the phone. So then I called Dear Sweet Mama and told her Dad didn’t answer the phone, and she thought he’d been Raptured, too.

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  9. Misty

    “. . . I have hidden your car keys! CHILL.”

    Gotta love a good Say Anything reference. Just saying. 🙂

    Like

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