Stupid Cameron Diaz

So I tried to watch “The Box” the other night (mostly because it was finally on the regular movie channel OnDemand that I’m already paying for, not on real Pay-Per-View).  The whole reason I had waited so long is that Cameron Diaz pisses me right the fuck off.  And I don’t know why, there’s just something about her that makes me want to hit her with a stick.  I think it’s sort of similar to my hatred for The Zell, just some facet of her face or facial expressions that makes my butt hurt.

And I couldn’t get all the way through it, even though the plot seems cool and I REEEALLY wanna see it all the way through even more now.  BUT I HATE HER!  So I’m gonna have to watch it in installments (I did the same thing with “Avatar” — whenever it got too preachy and “crunchy” as Thoughtsy would say, I’d hit pause and go buy something non-recyclable).  Which sucks, but there it is. 

So, my list so far includes The Zell, Cameron Diaz, and Penelope Cruz (but with her, it’s not the face, it’s the accent — you’ve lived here for AGES, stop DOING that!).  I’m sure there’s more, but those ones leap right to the forefront.  Oh, and also both Luke and Owen Wilson — I think I hated Owen first and then Luke by proxy, but now it works either way.

Is it just me?  Or is this baseless hatred of, let’s face it, complete strangers somehow normal? 

Normal for us, I mean.

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33 Comments

Filed under At the Movies, GENIUS!, La Vida Loca, My Secret Shame(s)

33 responses to “Stupid Cameron Diaz

  1. No, these people make it their job to get in our public eye. It is part of their game, I don’t have to like it. Where I agree with you on Zell, I am meh about Cameron Diaz.

    Who drives me up the wall is Daniel Craig. OMG, stop pursing your lips. How can I take you seriously as James Bond when you make those ridiculous facial expressions. (plus I HATE HATE HATE a blond Bond but that is not the point).

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    • yeah, I can’t buy him as Bond, either. The only facial expression Bond should make is that sexy lifted eyebrow thing Sean Connery does… mmmm, Sean Connery…

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  2. Awww… you said “crunchy.” Diaz is annoying, isn’t she? Maybe it’s all actors whose last names end in Z.

    Maybe don’t bother with The Box. Kiefer and I felt like 2 hours of our life was wasted. We expected more since it was based on a Richard Matheson (I Am Legend) story.

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    • well, that does change things — I’m not sure I could take being as pissed off by ANOTHER Matheson story as I was by the ABYSMAL Will Smith version of “I Am Legend.” Dude, you totally missed the point! YOU WERE THE MONSTER ALL ALONG!

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  3. Diaz is a good example of everything that is bad about Hollywood. She never grew up, and sadly, what is hot and sexy when you are 30 is just sad 10 years later. Not that she doesn’t still look good, but because you can technically fit into an outfit, (I’m talking hot pants and stiletto heels, and I think she was wet also, by a car, on a magazine cover recently) does not mean that you look “good”. You may look “undignified”, or even “ridiculous” to normal people. If normal people were not how she made her money, there would be no problem, I guess. I am sure she is feeling the pain of losing her audience because they are embarrassed for her and no longer want to watch her movies. BUT I would be willing to bet that she will probably blame it on “discrimination” because of her age. She should try being her age, with some grace, and see if it doesn’t improve her bottom line. No pun intended. 🙂

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    • You are so right about her! I haaaaaaate Cameron Diaz for all these reasons. And, in fact, I hate Ashton Kutcher for exactly the same reasons too. GROW. THE. FUCK. UP. And the Zell? Why does she always have to play some pathetic, desperate girl who just wants someone to love her? I feel like she is the opposite of everything a modern woman should want to be.

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    • momiss –when exactly did “wet” come to equal “sexy?” I have often in my life been “wet,” and what I felt was “grumpy” and “uncomfortable.”

      and Jaclyn — EXACTLY! You know why no one loves you, Renee? ‘CAUSE YOU’RE JUST AWFUL!

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  4. It’s completely normal… for “us”. Which leaves us a lotttttttt of leeway, nice nice nice.
    I find I can snap-loathe someone if they have a certain “look”. I don’t mean physical appearance, I mean this expression on their face that I just can’t describe. It’s like art, or porn… I know it when I see it.
    Then I drop a dictionary on their foot and I feel much better.

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    • “snap-loathe” — PERFECT! I think the worst expression is the ones who always look like they smell something stinky. Kinda like The Zell, with her squoonched up face. WHAT DO YOU SMELL???

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  5. Oh, and celebs? Sean Penn, even before he outted himself as a political douche, I could never look at him without vague nausea. And Billy Bob Thornton, as amusing as he might be sometimes, looks like he needs to be boiled to get the scrunge off.

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    • Sean Penn is one of the worst smell-something-stinky face offenders, plus he’s on par with Bono for the “Shut the Fuck Up, You Ridiculous Douchebag” award. I can’t look at Billy Bob Thornton without hearing him say “fried taters,” so he makes me giggle.

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  6. I get through this by calling them names. There’s “Chompers” aka Matt Damon YOUR TEETH ARE TOO BIG, and “Open Mouth Boy” Been Afleck who for years would never close his frickin’ mouth, and “Caterpillar Eyebrows” Denise Richards who could not act her way out of a closet… the list goes on and on.

    Maybe I’m just jealous that these mediocre people seem to make a lot of money.

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    • I used to watch Denise Richards’ reality show just to yell, “You stupid whore!” at the TV. Same reason I watched Kendra. I like judging others, especially the stupid whores.

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  7. I think Cameron Diaz’s only redeeming quality is that she never got a boob job. I’m not really sure why she’s famous, or continues to get acting jobs. She should have hung it up after “The Mask”.

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    • I didn’t see “The Mask” because Jim Carrey is another one who makes my butt hurt. I try, I really do, but he burned his bridges with me with all the Ace Ventura crap.

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  8. You know who bugs me? Renee Russo. Ever since she single-handedly and double-boobedly ruined the Thomas Crown Affair with hot hot hot HOT Pierce Brosnan by being topless through the entire freaking thing. FOR NO REASON. Put a shirt on! Your breasts aren’t great! I know that’s the directors decision and I should blame whoever that was. But I can’t see her face without seeing her old, freckled boobs.

    And again you have watched a movie I’ve never even heard of. The only The Box I know of is from the 90’s. And dull. Dull. DULL.

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    • This new “The Box” is kinda like a “Needful Things” rip off — would you do something that would cause something horrible to happen to someone you didn’t know if it would get you a million dollars? And I would do something that would cause something horrible to happen to Cameron Diaz for FREE.

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  9. I always wanted to stab Nicole Kidman in the face. And I always hated Tom Cruise, even before the nutball Scientology crapola. Diaz just seems like a total airhead ditz. The same for Pinch Face Renee. And I LOATH Jim Carrey. All that being said- I loved Cold Mountain and Vanilla Sky. LOVED. But I can not watch ANY Jim Carrey movie. None.

    I knew you’d want to know this.

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    • I try to forgive Nicole Kidman for the face she makes — I think I would make a face as well if I had put up with Tom Cruise as long as she did. I still watch Ol’ Crazy Tom’s movies, but I find him personally distasteful. And HA! Another Carrey-Hater!

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  10. I got stuck watching Penelope Cruz in “All the Pretty Horses” with my mother and grandfather because she and I had never heard of it and he thought it was a documentary on horses.

    Even the giant-family-economy sized Icee didn’t quell the pain!

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    • WHY must she speak that way??? All the other actors who grew up speaking Spanish end up toning it down to that sexy Antonio Banderas level, but she still sounds like she was in Guadelajara YESTERDAY!

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  11. I totally hate people at random. Some of them make sense, like Sean Penn. A lot of them make no sense, like those cheerful people who make over homes on HGTV. I LIKE my crap, I worked hard for it and I’m hanging on to it, dammit. Get your decorator mitts off my stuff. I don’t want puce green walls. I will not be happy with stencils. I LIKE living somewhere where a beer mat collection would be welcome. LEAVE ME ALONE.

    Stacy and Clinton can eff off too. I think they eat the souls of the people they make over. How else do you explain the identical Stepford look?

    On the other hand, I also form deep attachments to extremely random character actors. Anyone want to hear about my Christopher Heyerdahl crush? No? Okay, your loss.

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    • I hate virtually every host on any makeover show — who do you think you are, you think you’re better than me?
      And you and I may have to fight — I have my own pathetic crush on Christopher Lambert (but only if he never, EVER talks), so dinner parties could get awkward. “Honey, put the swords down, the potatoes are done!”

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  12. I agree, thanks to you I couldn’t watch bridget jones the other night without shouting “stop SQUINTING” at the zell. Diaz drives me crazy too, I liked her in the mask and…that’s it she’s so samey and rubbish. Although I realllly thought what happens in vegas would be tripe but have to say I found it mildly entertaining and better than I’d imagined….otherwise she sucks, and I’m right there with you and Penelope cruz, that’s why I’m not off to see
    “Pirates of the Caribbean 4 – no we won’t stop making movies”

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    • It breaks my frickin’ heart to see that Keira Knightley and South Beach Floral Arrangement do not appear to be in this one, and that my dear sweet Johnny Depp (who is one of my many husbands who don’t know they’re my husbands) is sharing the screen with that lisping Latina! When 2 of the 3 main actors don’t come back… I fear for the franchise.

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  13. I did not mean to imply that “wet” equaled “sexy”. I saw a picture of her recently on a magazine cover. I don’t remember what magazine, but she was standing beside a car, and I think she was wet, and dressed in hot pants and high heels. It was my impression that whoever was marketing the magazine probably thought it was a “sexy” picture. I was really embarrassed for her. And her mother……. The article said that in her opinion marriage was either dead or dying. I wish I knew more but I felt bad enough for giving that drivel one click and I wasn’t about to give them two. heeheeeheeee

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    • I think ad executives think wet equals sexy, it seems to be a recurring theme! And I’m sure being married to Cameron Diaz would make you WISH you were dead or dying, so that’s probably what she meant…

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  14. Lizzybeth

    Add KirstyAlley to the list of squinters that I abhore. Makes me want to use a pry bar and some duct tape… justsayin’

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  15. Because they’re everywhere in front of us, all the time and in print- I think it’s completely normal to hate them. I wouldn’t feel bad, but it’s the same for me and Cameron, and Kate Hudson, and currently Matthew McConahaugh.

    Sara

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    • I would also hate ol’ Matthew, but I keep seeing his MAGNIFICENT torso from “Reign of Fire.” And Kate Hudson can totally bite me as well, she’s oe of those “I’m pathetic, please love me” actresses.

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