Alrighty then, I think it’s been fairly well established: If there is a hell, I am going to it. Straight there, do not pass go, do not collect $200, right this way, Ms. Hoo, we have your penthouse ready. So if you’re very religious and can’t take a joke about it, you might want to stop now and drop back in tomorrow.
Are they gone? Good. Wait, none of you left (better make that penthouse a condo…).
Anyhoo, on the radio this morning, yes, on the always-entertaining and guaranteed-to- make-me-talk-out-loud-in-the-car “Coast 2 Coast with George Noory,” there was this guest with a REALLY hot Irish accent. So, I’m driving along, and I think he’s a Bible scholar or something, but I don’t really CARE, ’cause IRISH ACCENT, ya know? Then he said something so flamingly obnoxious that I actually started to pay attention.
This dude says that between the Rapture and the actual ‘Pocolypse, there’s going to be a mass conversion of people to Christianity because apparently everyone’s goona say “Oops, guess you were right,” and hop on the Salvation Train.
Okay, wait a minute. I only set foot in a church if they have good paintings and architecture, but even I know that sounds a little off. Is he saying you can just ignore everything all your life and then when the actual Devil is in your actual dining room, you can suddenly say, “Hey, Jesus, got a minute?” Even a heathen like me is offended at that — Jesus Christ is not a frickin’ E-Z pass!
Also, apparently there’s a group saying the Rapture is gonna be on May 21 of this year. Now, I’m not sayin’ nothin’, but let’s just say, I’ve already made my dinner plans for the 22nd!