Seriously? Buried at Sea?
I’m fairly smart and I know Islamic law requires you to be buried within 24 hours of kicking the bucket, and I further know that pretty much no country is stupid enough to say, “Sure, bury Osama bin Laden here, we’d love a big ol’ terrorist shrine in our territory.” But BURIED AT SEA?
You’re just asking for trouble from all the “George W. Bush planned 9-11,” “President Obama was born in either Kenya or possibly space,” “The aliens can’t control my thoughts if I wear this foil hat” wackadoos out there — and they don’t need the encouragement! Couldn’t we have done a Lenin thing? I mean, he’s technically BURIED, he just happens to be preserved inside a see-thru Snow White casket (speaking of which, I watched a show about what’s gonna happen to ol’ Vladimir if the environmental systems ever go off — canna getta EEEEEEW!).
What I’m saying is, today’s society has pretty much negated photographic evidence (did I show y’all the one of me at prom with The Riddler? He had a sweet car.), so you’re gonna have to get creative if you want people to believe you. Somebody call the CSI people — Nothing can be hidden from David Caruso’s sunglasses!
Also… since when does saltwater prevent zombie-fication? IDIOTS!
PS — There is something special about this post, yes, even specialer than usual. If you can tell me what it is, you may win a puppy! Or not. Whatever.
hoodyhoo 
So nice of us to bury him according to Islamic law. The people who he had murdered on 9-11 didn’t have the option to be buried according to their faiths.
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EXCELLENT point
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I believe everything everyone tells me, but when I heard the buried at sea thing, I immediately thought “Really?”
“Since when does saltwater prevent zombie-fication?” Oh…my…god. You think of everything! And that’s why you should be president.
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ME TOO! I was all like, “Do what now?” — and thanks for the endorsement, you know you’re in my Cabinet!
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I may or maybe be a wackadoo but when I heard the news the mornings about the whole buried at sea thing… I had immediate moment of distrust. I mean there are a whole lot of old shaggy bearded hook nosed men in Turkey.
I would have felt safer if they cut off the head, stabbed the heart with a stake and burning method of burial. (but that is just me)
I can’t find the special thing 😦
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And am I the onlyone who finds it interesting that we all used to describe him as being like 7 feet tall… but NOW, all of a SUDDEN, he’s only 6’4? WRONG CRAZY-LOOKIN’ MUSLIM DUDE!
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The special something is that it’s where I got the news Osama is dead!
Well, it’s special to ME!
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please, girl, I WORK for the news and the way I found out was when Chuckweasel said on Monday morning, “Well I guess your national story’s gonna write itself,” and I said, “Why, what happened?” I got mad observational skillz!
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Okay, this post was hilarious, despite the seriousness of it all, but your “mad observational skillz” just put me over the top.
Thanks for the laugh, and congrats on 100 posts!!
Also, thanks for putting me in your sidebar. I am honoured. 🙂
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Thanks! and you totally deserve the add!
And that’s what I do here, ma’am — I make fun of shit that probably ought not REALLY be made fun of!
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I took the weekend off and spent it in bed with heavenly Laura Ashley sheets.
I MISS EVERYTHING!!!!!
I, too, immediately wondered why we would honor his custom of burial within 24 hours, and the whole sea thing, well, smells kind of fishy.
I just hope he is really dead and cannot wait to see what will come out about this.
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as I just told Hellish, I didn’t freakin’ know until Monday morning… Chuckweasel, on the other hand, stayed up all night watchin’ the TV — this was his Royal Wedding!
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Chuckweasel would love my Cyclist……
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Yeah, I would have gone with burning to ashes and then scattering them so he can’t come back as a zombie or vampire, but that’s just me. I AM hopeful that this might mean I won’t have to take off my shoes at the airport, though…
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I always figured that was just an excuse for the TSA to either A) ogle people’s feet (perverts) or B) mock me for having hole-y socks. And I ALWAYS have hole-y socks at the airport, even if they were FINE when I put them on!
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Special…. lessee, you didn’t mention Chuckweasel, Dear Sweet Mama, or Callie Jean?
And the kiss-ass in me just says “Well, ALL your posts are special.”
Can I have a Harley instead of a puppy, please?
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nice try, but no Harley for you!
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I think Steve Jobs bought body parts prior to dumping him in the ocean. If I come up mysteriously missing- let the authorities know about my suspicions please. Oh, and I don’t need a puppy, but if you had said “goat” …
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we just had a guy up here arrested for stealing and killing (and possibly mo-lesting, it’s a weird story) his neighbor’s pygmy goat. You should come beat his ass… although he might like it.
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I interpret “buried at sea” to mean “We dumped him in the ocean. Now try to find him.”
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I just thought we weren’t supposed to go around throwing hazardous waste in the waterways… now he’s gonna end up in that big trash island with all the soda can rings and Big Mac boxes!
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well, Hoody – that thought of a perhaps zombified Bin Laden on the trash island circling the globe – I can see some nightmares tonight. Have to have Cousin He’p make more margaritas tonight. Last night’s birthday party for her went well – if you don’t noticed the guest of honor passed out in the floor while the party went on around her. I’ll send pictures. Love you, your DSM
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ah, Cousin He’p… soldiering bravely on to uphold our family traditions…
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ZOMG. My suspicious mind thought the timing was remarkably coincidental. Obama was trying to put the birth certificate issue to rest, but it wasn’t going away.
And now everyone has dropped all mention of it from the news, and Obama’s approval rating has probably gone higher than ever before.
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“Oh, but Kernut, our government would NEVER do something like that!” — was that convincing?
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How do you bury someone at sea? Scuba dive down and start digging sand holes?
Do I get a puppy now?????
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I know, the phrase doesn’t really make sense — I guess it just sounds classier than saying “we hucked him in the drink!” And no, you can’t have a puppy — puppies eat Pez and you haven’t got any!
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