I was going to title this “There and Back Again,” but it seems like that’s been taken…
Alright, we rejoin our valiant heroes as they journey from the ballpark to the way-too-far-away-for-the-money hotel inadvertently selected by stupid bassurds who shoulda known better. When they finally reach the sanctuary of their room, they discover that the pizza joint advertised on the in-room flyer has closed for the night (fuckers). So they resort to that old standby… Papa John’s.
Okay, I can’t do that verb tense anymore… Anyhoo, Chuckweasel was all excited because he got that recording that says “Thank you for calling, an associate will take your order shortly,” so we knew they were still open. He placed the order, and I tottered off to bed after instructing him to wake me when the food got there (I had been awake for 22 hours and drunk for 6 at that point, so sue me!). Cut to about an hour and a half later, Chuckweasel gets in the bed and says morosely, “I don’t think they’re coming.”
And indeed they never did, so we went to sleep without pizza. How is that even possible, that you take someone’s order and then you just DON’T GO? The pizza-delivery process is a sacred trust, and it has been violated!
So that disappointment is probably part of what led us to eat at not one, but 2 restaurants in the same mall the next day. We started off at Maggiano’s Little Italy, which is the best Italian place we have found so far, outside actual Italian places in Italian neighborhoods and such. Chuckweasel had the Chicken Parmesan that he always has (he fears change) and I… I had what shall forever be known as “The Jesus Canneloni.”
It’s actually a crab and shrimp canneloni, but in describing it to Dear Sweet Mama, I said, “You know, it’s like if Jesus came over to your house… ” and she interrupted with “This is what you’d fix Him for dinner?” And I said, “Oh, no, Dear Sweet Mama… this is what HE’d fix YOU.” Yes, the crab and shrimp canneloni was so good, I literally almost wept… and I did shake the chef’s hand on the way out (possibly in the hope that he’d be covered in sauce…).
Then we walked around the mall to digest, touring such favorites as Brookstone (the SkyMall of the ground) and Pottery Barn (the store for people who can’t find the flea market). Then, it was off to the Cheesecake Factory for dessert. BTW, I had never been to a Cheesecake Factory, but this is the method Chuckweasel recommends: he says their food is nothing special, but you MUST go there for dessert.
I had the Tiramisu cheesecake (because, DUH! WINNING!) and Chuckweasel had the Pineapple Upside-Down Cheesecake (because, despite his claims to the contrary, he was using my allergy to pina to prevent cake-napping). Oh. My. GAWD they make some good cheesecake, yo! I guess that’s why they named it that…
I think this may finish the tales of the trip… I’ll ponder over the weekend and get back to y’all. And sometime next week, as promised: The Apocolist!