Bunch o’ Crap

There’s a few topics kickin’ around in the ol’ noggin this morning, so let’s dive on in, shall we?

1.  I had my first visit with the physical therapist yesterday, and I thought all she did was wangle my joints around and tell me I’m a mutant… but I must have blacked out and forgotten the part where she took me out in the parking lot and ran me over with her car!  My shit HURTS, yo!  Hopefully it will get better with time.

2.  You know you’ve found “the one,” when you call up your significant other to ask if it’s a good idea to write “OogHiq MikhTaag” on your feet before physical therapy, and before you even translate it, he says “Do not write in Klingon on your feet.”

3.  Another point in Chuckweasel’s favor — he found my “Apocolist” (shopping list for Zombie Apocolypse survival supplies) and didn’t even bat an eye… even though it includes things like “Barter Items” and has obviously had WAAAAAY too much thought put into it. 

4.  I’ve spent the past few days frantically switching Callie Jean’s food around, trying to figure out why she keeps barfing… only to discover it wasn’t the food at all.  Seems one of her cat toys (presumably designed for cats, no?) has this silvery ribbony stuff on it… and, instead of playing with it, Mommy’s Lil’ Rhodes Scholar has been EATING IT.  And whucking it up.  I should sue the makers of that cat toy.  But then I’d have to admit my cat is… special.

That’s it for now!



Filed under Calpurnia Jean, GENIUS!, La Vida Loca, Random Thoughts, Twu Wuuv

19 responses to “Bunch o’ Crap

  1. Hahah my cats do that too glad they’re not the only “special” ones!
    Please oh, please share your apocolist! PLEEAAAASSSEEE!


    • I just wanna know — what genius puts that crap on toys that are FOR cats? Knowing that cats will eat it and then whuck it up?
      And I’ll get the list together for y’all soon!


  2. I am pretty sure I would like to see the apocolist because you can never be too prepared. Plus you could work out a network of way stations from your fan base and you would know you have safe spots to travel.


  3. I used to eat the Christmas tinsel off the tree. Mom said I had very festive poop. It’s memories like this that make me want to eat glitter and see if I poop a unicorn.


    • Our dachshund used to eat christmas tinsel too. Then she pooped link sausage looking turds that you had to help pull out by the tinsel. Kind of like if slinkydog ingested his slink.


    • Did you not have cats to eat the tinsel FOR you? Mine would have taught me a lesson if I tried to bogart their stash! And you truly have not known joy until you’ve had to free a pet from a piece of his own poop that is “chasing” him…


  4. Ah, silver foil, favorite condiment of all cats. That’s why we don’t have ribbon on presents in my house until they are seconds from going out the door. Oliver likes to wrap his hairballs in curling ribbon. Pretty yes. But for some reason? Extra gross.


  5. ah yes, I second lifeshighway. Please publicly share your apocolist, hmmm ?


  6. Chris Cochran

    I think I need to see your apocolist so we can compare notes. I’m in a frikin’ LJ community that just bats ideas for those around.


  7. There’s something about an apocolist that isn’t perfectly normal?


  8. My poor dogs almost starved to death for a couple of days before I finally read the instructions. I was supposed to GRADUALLY replace their normal food with the Science Diet stuff over a period of TWO WEEKS!
    I felt about an inch tall and totally spoiled them with a whole package of ham just to make it up to them. Poor things.


    • it looks like the food I THOUGHT might be too rich for her is now the ONLY food she’ll eat — so she’s on a hunger strike regarding the supposedly “healthy” food that has greens in it!


  9. ps. Forget about the apocolist and try to find one of those homes to buy that built bomb shelters in the 70’s…… Not really a joke but kind of funny in a dark way……:)


    • I WANT ONE OF THOSE SO BAD! Even the one that was on NCIS and the guy was keeping his “wives” down in there in 1950’s splendor… I was like, “Yeah, I can handle that… FOR A BOMB SHELTER!”


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