A Day in the Life

Now that I’m back from the Ninth Circle of FCC Report Hell, I thought I’d give y’all an inside scoop into “A Day in the Life of Hoody-Hoo.”  And remember, when I say “I read the news today, oh boy,” I really fuckin’ mean it!

ALARM GOES OFF (AKA Oh-Dark-30):  Wake up in the morning feeling ABSOLUTELY NOTHING like P-Diddy.  Feed Queen Callie Jean, get reasonably clean and dressed (what do they expect at this hour?  besides, that’s the beauty of radio!) .  Drive to work, listening to nutjob wackos on “Coast to Coast AM.”

ARRIVAL AT WORK:  Say hey to the overnight board operator, check Associated Press wire and the interwebz for story ideas.  See what the day-shift guy has left for me (usually somewhere between “jack” and “shit”) — swear for approximately 4.9 minutes.  Sort the wheat (very little) from the chaff, write local headlines.  Pick a national lead story using AP and network affiliate (swear some more because it’s Fox).

TOP OF THE HOUR:  Live headlines, then write and edit (or re-edit, in the case of the day shift stuff — you stupid bastard, :22 seconds is NOT a motherfucking soundbite!)  national and local news stories. 

BOTTOM OF THE HOUR:  Live news read, then distribute news copy and sound to other interested station(s) — generally only one doesn’t use me (fuckers).  Choose 3 “weird news” type stories for live news kickers; write headlines and scripts. 

TOP OF THE HOUR:  Live headlines #2, then record newscasts for talk stations (6 newscasts to run hourly until 11:30am)  Upload to talk station automated server.  Download, edit and upload syndicated programs for talk and sports stations.

BOTTOM OF THE HOUR:  Live news read #2, then select, write and record story to leave for the day shift guy.  2 more cycles of live headlines and live news follow, in between which I talk to you bitches so I can stay at least partially sane!

TIME IS UP!:  End of shift — go home (well, leave work).  Do whatever errands need doing, then head home and IMMEDIATELY FEED THE CAT!  Do in-the-house chores for awhile, veg out in front of crap TV.  See the dear Weasel as much as I can, but as much as I love CW… sometimes sleep wins out!

BEDTIME:  Eventually fall asleep — cycle repeats tomorrow.

Of course, this is only Monday through Thursday — on Fridays I sleep during the day to prepare for the bar, and on Saturdays I ONLY have the bar (SWEET!).  And on Sundays, I clean.  Or sleep.  Whatever.

And the best part?  People think this job is GLAMOROUS!

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7 Comments

Filed under Calpurnia Jean, He's the DJ I'm the Rapper, La Vida Loca, Reality Bites

7 responses to “A Day in the Life

  1. Woosh! What is a day like when there’s an earthquake and a tsunami?!?

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    • that’s the beauty of being just a local-level newsie — I can just steal reports from the big national dogs when the shit hits the fan overseas! They sure aren’t gonna pay to send ME!

      Like

  2. I can write you a less-than-22-seconds soundbite: “Listen to us. We know shit you don’t. Really, we do. “

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  3. How many hours are you there for then and where do I get me a podcast? Then I can compare new reports between you and day shift and hand out the appropriate certificates 🙂

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    • 5-ish? Depends on when I roll my sad behind outta bed — and wouldn’t it be great if my radio station would crawl outta the Dark Ages and put me on the interwebz!?

      Like

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