Let’s Do the Time Warp

I’m still on my Granny Weatherwax high horse about this stupid weather (flurries?  Did the guy just say FLURRIES?) and it reminded me about what I guess we’ll have to call the Weaselian Calendar (like the Julian calendar, but this one’s from Chuckweasel).

Now, as geeks like myself know, when Julius Caesar (great general, bad haircut) switched the Roman Empire from the lunar calendar to the solar one, he had to add a lot of time to catch up so the seasons would be in the right place.  So you wouldn’t be having a Harvest Festival in 2 feet of snow, or what have you.  Chuckweasel (who is a closet geek but pretends to be a jock) has a theory that we’ve gotten the seasons out of alignment again and we need another adjustment.

What Caesar and Company did was, they had November 3 times in a row.  Which was cool, because it gave the Romans yet another opportunity to act completely bugshit crazy (some of them repeated every “day” by doing EXACTLY the same thing on every “November 4th” or whatever; others decided that 2 of the months didn’t “count” and they took a do-over).  I think we could totally use this idea, and maybe it would help the economy, too!

Bear with me here.  If we do November 3 times, you would make your November car payment, rent payment, etc. during the “first” November.  Then you should not have to pay your November bills again in the next 2 months, because they’re still, technically, “November.”  If we can get everybody to agree to this, we would not only fix our calendar so the weather’s in the right places, we’d also give everybody a chance to save up a little money and get caught up!  GENIUS!!!!!

If anyone needs me, I’ll be at home, waiting for President Obama to call.  Or the Nobel Committee.  Or probably just Dear Sweet Mama, but a girl can dream!

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18 Comments

Filed under GENIUS!, SCIENCE!

18 responses to “Let’s Do the Time Warp

  1. Hmm maybe we can do a house swap in november 2, after all you’d ave worked november 1 so why the heckers not

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  2. hey, that’s genius! But wait, would the bosses be able to say “I already paid you for the week of November 4th” — I may need to work on this some more.
    And anyway, if we SWAPPED houses, we wouldn’t get to hang out and make fun of people!

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  3. If we do November 3 times, I would have to have the annual both sides of the family horse Thanksgiving extravaganza – 3 times in one year.

    I just broke out in hives thinking about it.

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    • CRAP — I completely forgot about that, and I burst into drunken tears if I’m forced to make a turkey (that’s why it’s Chuckweasel’s job). Hmmm… we need a month with no big holidays…

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  4. “It’s just a jump to the left. And then a step to the rrrrrrrrright.” Wait, did you say something?

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  5. How about April instead? Wait…if I have three birthdays, do I get three years older? Or just get three cakes?

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  6. Chuckweasel

    I do not endorse these comments from Hoody as far as not making payments, but I do believe we need an adjustment. Hoody needs an attitude adjustment. Where’s my backhand??

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  7. I would repeat a day over if on that original day I was making out with George Clooney, or eating carbs. Either one.

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  8. please, you would voluntarily star in the remake of “Groundhog Day” if you were doing either of those… especially if the carbs were Circus Peanuts!

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  9. DearSweetMama

    This, my dear sweet girl, is genius. And, I actually searched for and found you – ok, I went through Noa but STILL – on the internet all the way out here in Oregon!! You must be world famous now.

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    • They have internet in Oregon? What about the cholera?

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      • DearSweetMama

        They do have internet – and maybe cholera as well. We are right down the road from Corvallis. And very glad to be here and out of Portland – I think the Protectorate may have been after us. Susan said we would need guns to get her out of the hospital – good pain meds.

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